So first off let me introduce myself. I am a 14 year old boy who has just begun high school and has also begun to experiment with relationships. I chose to talk about this on the spacetime forum because I've been around here for quite a while and know that there are some very intellectual people here who generally are supportive no matter the situation, now let's get to it. Recently I began doing more activities at school with the rest of my friends and have interacted with more of their friends. In all these activities such as lunch, clubs, after school events etc., there was a girl who was quite charming yet I never saw us as being together because it felt rather typical for me to be attracted to a girl as nice and charming as she was. As we continued developing our friendship (she was far more in control than I knew) I really began to like this girl. Later on my friend told me that she blushed quite a lot at the mention of me and when I thought about it there were some very obvious hints that she was interested in me such as constantly touching me (playfully) and asking me if I liked certain girls if I had brought them up in conversation or seemed to acknowledge them. This continued for about 2 weeks as we talked more and more and developed a stronger friendship. Before I continue let me describe one of the first problems. For years now I've been known to not be very expressive of my emotions, neither vocally or facially. So pretty much whenever she'd do something sort of romantic such as when walking her to class I had to stop half way walking her to her class to go to mine which was on the other side of the campus. I'm sure she would've understood that part but what I'm sure majorly disappointed her was that I didn't hug her or do anything friendly of the sort, I gave her a weak and awkward wave goodbye. I had been pretty much giving her negative cues about how I felt about her while inside cared a lot for her. Then on the same day after school, I decided it was time that I went ahead and let her know how I felt and explain it all to her. Woke up especially confident and excited (today). I had planned on meeting her as soon as I got to school and telling her then but couldn't find her and went to class with thoughts of her. These thoughts of her went on for 3 painfully long and dull class periods until my next chance to see her would be, lunch. When we met up at our table with others she was her usual fun loving self the whole while although I felt that she was somewhat distant, not giving me as much attention as she'd accustomed me to. I was getting ready to figure out how I'd get her
alone so I could confess to her my love when my friend said "so how's your new boyfriend *girlsname*?" at this I was paralyzed and her a bit uneasy at the mentioning. Then another friend restated the question but saying the guys name. At this I was blatantly baffled, making no attempt to conceal my amusement. This guy was a small fellow (no offense to the short guys it's just that I distinctly remember her mentioning that she likes tall guys) who I'd never even seen her talk to (granted I met her 4 weeks ago) this guy was no lady killer, yet somehow he and her got into a relationship overnight. The other kind of picked up on this as well and began teasing her. She didn't ha e much of anything to say on the matter and kind of sat uncomfortably (next to me). sounds a bit fishy right? I concluded that she had gotten together with him to make me jealous as again, I had not yet openly expressed mutual feelings for her. My first reaction was to angrily confront her demanding an explanation, through further thought I decided that his was the worst possible thing to do. I would see her again in 40 minutes, after a class period. In this class period she sits next to me and this is where most of our socializing has taken place. In this class period today I was a rock, completely ignoring any of her attempts to interact in a playful way with me, saying "stop" firmly when she poked me and not paying much attention to her in the group conversations. She acted the same as usual in this class except a bit down and upset probably because I was ignoring her. After all this and considering that I am largely to blame for it all (for being so non expressing of my emotions and taking things too slow) I've come up with two possible solutions and what I want to hear is which one you guys think is better. Some reasoning on your opinion would be nice.
Hint:Both of these are meant to be conflicting responses
Solution 1: Let her self destruct in all her clumsy attempts to attract me and give her none of my attention. How can I get together with her if she feels the need to use another to get my attention? I would probably look like a complete pawn if from one week to the next she was going out with me and not the other kid.
Solution 2: come clean about my feelings and let her know how I feel about her (at this point I think she has no idea how much I cared for her) and try and explain to her why I was so closed up about how I felt about her, after all everyone deserves second chances right?
Note: Most of my conclusions about this situation are based purely on strong evidence of the situation and have been in no way confirmed! It is possible (yet highly unlikely) that ive completely misassesed the situation.
