Guide to Avoiding Beggers
Scenario: You are relaxing on a little vacation to Paradise Pier. You're standing perfectly still and gazing at the ocean... all of a darn sudden, BAM!! Someone startles you with a request via PM.
Abascfidhdjskskf tells you: Pls sirs i can have gold?
... what do you do? This little guide will show you what to do in this very tough predicament.
There are many ways to approach this. Here are 10:
Way 1: If you are feeling very charitable, give them gold.
Way 2: Simply slap the ignore button (literally slap it).
Way 3: Convince the begger that you are poor. This will confuse him/her, causing them to lose interest.
Way 4: Copy everything the begger says. Providing emphasis on the pronouns. "Can YOU give ME gold?". This will disrupt the mechanical processes that are being made in his/her intelligence unit (cuz we all know beggers are actually robots from the planet Nooberia).
Way 5: Tell the begger that you are actually a purple orangutan. This is the begger's natural enemy, and he will retreat to his/her natural habitat.
Way 6: Begin attacking them. This will show them that you are the dominant one, and they will back away in fear.
Way 7: Tell them "We're sorry. The number you have dialed is disconnected.". They will panic (thinking they accidentally called someone) and quickly press the power button, causing them to close the game.
Way 8: Pretend you are dead. They will repeat themselves a couple of times, then become frustrated and just slaughter all of brackenridge.
Way 9: Say "farplargfarplargfarplarg". This is their mating call. They will quickly run to another begger and ask them to be their bf/gf.
Way 10: Start screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!!!!". This will terrify the begger, causing him/her to run around in circles in panic and eventually pass out.
This concludes the guide. If you have an effective strategy, feel free to post it below!
Originally Posted by Kakashis
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