Alterra

[Flamin]

Alterra
Chapter 1, Land of Wonder
Part 1, The Ancient Book of Alterra

One Rainy day My sister and I were stuck in my grandmother’s house, on a rainy day. It was a house that had been there for generations, it had been there on the in the street of London since the middle ages. We decided to go up to the attic. Susan my sister reposed on an old chair while I looked through some old books. I admire old books and collect them. Susan had once said that I was quite the professional reader. I listened to the whirring of the wind as my sister flipped open a book to read. But then all of a sudden she disappeared in a flash of light.
I stood there for a whole minute, completely stunned at what had just happened. But soon my curiosity got the better of me and I got up and stumbled over to examine the book which my sister had picked up. When I began to read, the words lighted up and glowed in various colors as I read them, then suddenly I found myself in a vast flourishing meadow with a few streams and trees here and there, up ahead I caught sight of an immense old forest. I felt the book float out of my hands and I saw it soar to the east and over a mountain until it became almost invisible to the sight of an eye. I started to feel a warm sleep overcome me; I lay back on the soft meadow grass and fell asleep.
When I awoke I didn’t quite remember where I was, but when I had become fully conscious I imposed upon myself to find my sister. There was an apple tree nearby, so I gathered an adequate amount, and started off east into the forest and over the mountain. I admired the beautiful trees, the lavish underbrush and the sound of the birds singing. I was quite happy and content just walking through the woods, enjoying the fresh air and observing some quite strange and odd looking plants. I wandered through the nice green flourishing woods munching on an apple as I felt the soft grass lightly sprinkled with the fresh morning dew move about my feet. It had been quite some time, when suddenly I heard a rustle in the bushes up ahead. As a precaution, I quietly shoved my apple into my pocket, and warily tiptoed up to the bush. Then all of a sudden a badger abruptly burst out, whirled around, and looked me straight in the eye and exclaimed admonishingly, “What do you think your doin’ sneakin’ up behind me?!”
To be continued…

P.S. I will be editing this chapter and adding more content to this chapter, it will be while untill I release part 2 of chapter 1.

[vulgarstrike]

did you write this?
interesting idea, but the writing doesn't flow well enough for me to read.. got bored.

try started sentences with something else than I and using more variety

[KingFu]

Some of the grammar was a little off, but ya, like vulgar said, the story didn't flow together or have any words that grabbed my attention, it got boring since so many sentence started with "I"

[Flamin]

Yes I did wright this, I'm starting my own book, btw thanks for the suggestion. I'll try to make the sentences flow better.
I'll work on editing it soon.

[Gaabob]

Also make paragraphs... It looks like one huge mass of blurg, didn't even bother reading past the first few lines when I could tell there is no connection or flow.

Edit: also don't use one big word in every sentence unless you plan on making the overall structure of the writing as advanced. Stick with simple and flowing, or complex and flowing, not trying to be flowing but having it half simple with chunks of complex in the middle.