Boycott Scatterbears: A short rant by a proper tank.

[gotrocks420]

I have been doing lots of balefort sewer runs lately, as I've just hit level 50 recently. I'd like to immediately point out that I'm no pro - clearly I dont have a level 66, I'm not running with uber gear, and I dont know everything there is to know about PL, including tanking. But one of the first things I did when I started playing PL was read the forums.

I noticed that my chosen class (the bear) was probably one of the more difficult classes to play. I didn't do a lot of damage, and really I didnt seem to stay alive THAT much longer than other classes. Dang, I thought to myself, I really chose wrong! I knew the bear was supposed to be a tank and not damage dealer, but it seemed like my poor bear eas useless in both categories. So I turned to the forums around my first week or so of playing, and found (I think it was Tankaar) Tankaar's guide to being a tank in balefort sewers.

Now first off, balefort sewers sounded crazy difficult and complicated. I instantly wanted to be there. But it was a long way off. Still, i thought i could glean some knowledge from the jnfo provided and apply it to the earlier stages. Boy am i glad i did. I learned alot. My idea of what a tank is/was in PL was way off, and it turns out being a tank in PL is just as difficult as your average pc MMO.

Much like other MMO's, being a tank in PL involves constantly being aware of whats going on, always being in the front, and always maintaining control. Unlike other MMO's crowd control and mob placement is solely a bears responsibility. Without a good bear doing what hes supposed to be doing (among other things, chugging potions), high level non-elixired runs quickly turn to s***. I was a little overwhelmed at first, but the concept is relatively simple. Find mobs, taunt, find wall/corner, beckon into it, stomp them into wall/corner, then hellscream. CB the hardest hitting mobs if possible. Repeat if necessary. It took me a little while to get this down consistantly (admittedly I didnt really start doing this until halfway into AO2, and had it down by AO3), but once I did, runs went so smoothly. The mages/birds who knew how to play often thanked me or sent friend requests, and my gameplay experience improved greatly. I finally felt like my bear was worth something, and my many hours of play were paying off. I'd occasionally run into a bear who liked to screw things up, often somehow hitting beckon at the exact moment i did (read: think newtons law, only fubar'd and on aliens), but it seemed few and far between, and often times the offending bear would listen when i explained why we beckon into walls/corners, and either stop screwing off or stop beckoning altogether. Finally i managed to hit level 50, arm myself with mystery armor and helm, and march off to Balefort Sewers, a big grin on my face for finally making it to a REAL run. The horrors i experienced there will leave scars that run deep.

Its not that the sewers are particularly difficult - sure, some of the bosses can be tough, and those dam exploding grates are a pain - but overall the difficulty of the trash mobs is only mediocre. With ironblood, evade, and taunt running, I could survive all but the largest groups of mobs without even downing a potion. Even with ironblood and evade off, taunt, hellscream, a strategically placed cb and a heal from a mage were usually enough to get through any encounter unscathed. Until i met my mortal enemy... The scatterbear.

You've all seen them. You've all read about them. They run around flailing their arms, hitting beckon like a fat kid hits his mother when she wont buy him candy. They spam stomp like they are listening to 'hammer time' and the world will end if they dont stop - spammer time - everytime stomp pops up. They think taunt is a waste of time. Their rntire focus is on doing whatever the hell they want because 'they can play the game their way', which is fine if they are playing solo. But this is like saying you can go into a crowded airport and just start screaming that noise jim carrey makes in dumb and dumber 'because u can'. Sure, you can absolutely do that, but just like in PL, in real life you are part of a society, and generally speaking that society doesnt like obnoxious people. If you did that IRL people would think youre either insane, mentally handicapped, or just plain rude, obnoxious, and dumb. Someone would probably politely ask you to stop, maybe multiple someones, and if you kept going eventually you could even be arrested for causing a disturbance. A minor crime, to be sure, but one that would still require people in uniforms with guns to come and tell you to shut the f*** up. Or some good samaratin with a strong right hook would just knock you out. Whichever came first.

Unfortunately, in PL, the equivalent of the police or a fist in the face is the 'boot' button. Something i rarely have control over as i tend to not host games, it can be hard for me to get a full run going late at night when im usually playing, so i just join one instead. And when that scatterbear walks in, theres nothing i can do. Oftentimes these are pick up games, and there is no host or the host doesnt care. The worst part about the scatterbear is their arrogance. Being ignorant of something is always ok - id never fault someone for genuinely not understanding what they are supposed to be doing - but when someone politely explains to you how to effectively play your class (and lets be honest, bears are really only good at this one thing) and you ignore it, or worse, tell them they are wrong, you cross from ignorance into stupidity. Here are some sample responses ive recieved in my short time in the sewers:
"shutup noob"

"i can play how i want noob, u just suck"

"f u. Ur bear is awful u dont kno what ur talking about"

And these arent even the worst ones. The guy who made that last comment actually ended up deciding to check out the tank guide. He admitted he didnt want to at first because he didnt need a guide to tell him how to play. And also that he didnt like to read. For some reason, I wasnt surprised.

This has become so common im starting to get frustrated at PL. You may ask why i even care. The simple answer is this: i worked hard to build a bear centered around tanking. I spent many hours learning how to do it properly so that i could make runs move quickly and efficiently, so that everything dies, people earn fast xp, and im the only one chugging potions. For someone to waltz in and utterly fail at their chosen class (most dont even have taunt) and simultaneously ruin the task of mine is very frustrating. Im not trying to say this is the end of the world, and im not some elitest prick who thinks hes better than everyone else (im clearly not), but if youre going to invest hours and hours into getting a character to level 50, i think you should know how to play your class, or gtfo. This s*** wouldnt fly in a traditional MMO, but i think it happens here because this one is free. Also, i feel the average age of the player base is a little younger (im not saying kids are arrogant and stupid its just.... Well, yes, actually im saying that most of them are. I was once 11 too).

Someone please save me. If youre still running balefort sewers, boycott scatterbears. Explain politely how to tank properly, or point them to the tank guide. If they give some smart-assed reply or ignore you, boot them with reason: lrn2tank/read/think/listen/lrn. If this happens enough these idiots will finally get it. In the meantime, if you have a character still running.sewers and need a smart, slightly funny(sometimes), on the ball tank who knows what hes doing, go ahead and send me a request and lets do some leveling-farming. This old grizzly bear would greatly appreciate it (k so im not that old, but having two kids certainly makes me feel that way). And show those scatterbears they need to shape up and listen to the people who know that your underwear goes UNDERNEATH your pants, not over them (unless youre superman, in which case you can do whatever the f*** you want. Or Chuck Norris).

BOYCOTT SCATTERBEARS!!!


IGN:Gotrocks. - 51 Tank
gotstorms - 35 glass cannon
gotguns - 5 paper handgun

***edit*** my appologies for typos, i was doing this on my phone so kinda hard to go back and edit spelling. Also, understand that this was meant to be a little overdramatic, or else it wouldnt really be interesting. Scatterbears havent ruined my real life, they are just really, really annoying, and do screw up my enjoyment of the game. Thanks.for reading my 'short' rant