approaching a girl you like: desperate for pointers!

[JaytB]

One other thing: PL is awesome but I seriously doubt that you should show her your lvl 60 bear and explain the inner workings of the game on a first date. Just sayin'

Lmao!

To add to this, I don't think she would be impressed if you told her you were a GOA either LOL

[RedRyder]

Spill a beverage on her (mine was and adult beverage). Seriously, thats how I picked up my wife of 12 years.

Tapatalk'd from my PowerWashed Fascinate

Haha oh man, I think if I did that though she'd be pretty pissed lol. Thanks for the great advice guys
With more ways to tackle the situation, I'm becoming increasingly confident ^_^

[thequickone]

+1 and totally agree with Stomp and JaytB. Good looking out, everyone! I have only a few things to add:

1. Be yourself and be honest. I know you've already been told this several times, and you were probably planning on doing it, anyway. But it's really important, and here's why. Who do you want her to like? You or someone else? I'm serious, and it's really that simple. If you put on a fake personality or try to be who you think she wants you to be, and she becomes interested in "that person" and not the real you, you will forever have to wear that personality or suffer her potential disappointment.

2. Do not shoot for being just friends. OK, I know this sounds corny and possibly also a bit sleazy, but you need to make your intentions clear. Not right away, mind you! If she says yes, and you have a couple dates, you need to start making your wants, needs, and intentions clear to her. Bit by bit, don't overwhelm her! Simply let her know as soon as would be appropriate that you wish to be more than friends, if it is not already clear. Contrary to popular belief, we are not all mind-readers. Do not offer to tutor her! That or anything else like it will get you stuck in that role. I'm speaking from experience on this one...

3. Don't give up or move on right away. If she turns you down and does not have a good reason (in a relationship, married, not heterosexual, insane father, etc.), or any reason at all, she may be checking if you are interested enough to try again. I'm not suggesting you turn into a creeper or stalker, just suggesting you give yourself more than only one shot. Besides, it will take some of the pressure off of your first shot if you know it may not be your only chance. Don't believe anyone that tells you that you only have one chance. Unless she's packing up for a life-long research trip to Mars tomorrow, you'll probably see her again! Ultimately, part of her filtering process may be to never say yes the first time someone asks her out. She may be trying to see who is really interested. If you get the feeling she is, maintain communication to the extent possible and regroup for a second volley in a few days, or so. However, if she says no and gives you a good reason, you must respect her decision. Which leads to my final suggestion:

4. Treat her with the utmost respect. At all times. Do not stare. Do not "check her out" (she notices you doing that, you creep!). If you are fortunate enough to find yourself talking to her, keep your focus on her eyes/face. Do not glance at other parts of her body, even for an instant (she notices that, too, you jerk!). You may offer to shake her hand when you introduce yourself. Other than that, do not touch her. And please, no cheesy or lewd pick-up lines (sorry vaff, unless that pick-up line got you more than a very short-term *wink* relationship or an actual call to help with leg-shaving, your suggestion is out). Trust me, we all know the possible end result of asking someone out. You don't have to go over the top and show her you're already thinking about her with her clothes off! Just let her know, in whatever way you feel comfortable telling her, that you would like to get to know her.

OK, that's all I can think of right now. I wish you the best of luck! From the way you describe her, it sounds like you are genuinely interested in this girl, maybe even head-over-heels! Being open, honest, and respectful in your interactions with her will give her the opportunity to see that for herself.

EDIT (2011-10-21, 07:15): Hit "Submit" before I was done. Oh no! And a few more posted while I was editing! Wow, what a response... Everyone wants to help Red!

[Oldcoot]

I've ben married 23 years, complements work best! Hair, dress, eyes and be gentleman!

[Weak_Sauce]

Go with what Stomp said bro. Keep it simple, be MAX and not some made up personality, and be relaxed. She will be able to sense your nervousness. You mentioned her smile, find a way to use that but don't make it cheesy or cliche.

Good luck!!!

As a girl, last time I checked, I totally agree. I don't ever want to hear some overly thought out pick up line. Cracking a joke is a great ice breaker and a way to showcase your personality. Just make sure it isn't cheesy (no knock knock jokes) and try to insert it into the conversation so it doesn't disrupt the flow.

[Ellyidol]

Nothing cheezy bro, just a simple hi or hello is the best thing to do, IMO

Be yourself too, I mean, if you really want a relationship with her, best way to start is by being yourself -that's one thing you'd want in someone anyway, wants to be with you for you

Good luck man! We're on the same boat, although I haven't found that ONE girl I have to talk to

[RedRyder]

Thanks to the newest pieces of advice I'm going to start with a simple good morning, and see where it goes from there .

I have a feeling she's into me too, so once I get the ball rolling it shouldn't be too much trouble!

[MimeRifle]

This thread is cute! Wait - dudes aren't supposed to say "cute". This thread is solid .

I couldn't add anything to the serious advice. I concur with those who say be yourself, and be polite. It may seem awkward at first to give a compliment, but don't be afraid to do that. Most people are happy to receive a compliment. It's um, solid, that you asked this question on the forum. Made me chuckle. Best of luck to you - I hope you manage to break the ice!!

And if I may... just in case you panic - do NOT use the following pick-up line under any circumstance:

"Gee! You don't sweat much for a big girl!"

[StompArtist]

"Gee! You don't sweat much for a big girl!"

LOL That and: "You smell good reminds me of puppies".

[Samhayne]

I'm in JaytB's shoes, feeling a bit old somehow from this thread. Anyway, as others have mentioned, be confident, be yourself, be polite, be a gentleman. While you may be smitten by her, if you can keep things in perspective and realize that there are what, almost 7 Billion humans on the planet, half of them female. That's like 3.5 billion, just for grins say about 1/100th are a suitable age range for you (30 million). Then 1/100th are girls that you might even find attractive (300,000) and 1/1000th (if you live in a major metropolitan area) live anywhere near you - that's 300 girls! (please, no critique of my math, lol ) Imagine those 300 cute, age appropriate girls you might like lined up (that's around a good block or two) and this girl is just the one at the front of the line. Long story short, there are a lot of fish in the sea.

From what I know of you Red, you are a pretty good guy. If this girl doesn't like you, no worries, it's her loss for not digging a good guy. Move on to find girl #299 in that list and try again. Every girl I ever dated or had a relationship with taught me something I needed to know about what I was looking for, what I wanted out of life, how to be a gentleman. All of them helped me to be the man that I am and needed to be to meet the most wonderful girl in the world, my wife.

Be confident, be yourself, be polite, be a gentleman; take a deep breath, go for it and have fun!

[WoundedEagle]

If you're going with stomps method, and said girl replies, 'Sure can we go now? ' Though excluding the smiley face obviously, but if she says that, that would be her expression. Anyways if she says now, make sure you have your wallet :/ That would suck in the event you had forgotten your wallet. *Slips twenty in show in case that happens :P'

[RedRyder]

I'm in JaytB's shoes, feeling a bit old somehow from this thread. Anyway, as others have mentioned, be confident, be yourself, be polite, be a gentleman. While you may be smitten by her, if you can keep things in perspective and realize that there are what, almost 7 Billion humans on the planet, half of them female. That's like 3.5 billion, just for grins say about 1/100th are a suitable age range for you (30 million). Then 1/100th are girls that you might even find attractive (300,000) and 1/1000th (if you live in a major metropolitan area) live anywhere near you - that's 300 girls! (please, no critique of my math, lol ) Imagine those 300 cute, age appropriate girls you might like lined up (that's around a good block or two) and this girl is just the one at the front of the line. Long story short, there are a lot of fish in the sea.

From what I know of you Red, you are a pretty good guy. If this girl doesn't like you, no worries, it's her loss for not digging a good guy. Move on to find girl #299 in that list and try again. Every girl I ever dated or had a relationship with taught me something I needed to know about what I was looking for, what I wanted out of life, how to be a gentleman. All of them helped me to be the man that I am and needed to be to meet the most wonderful girl in the world, my wife.

Be confident, be yourself, be polite, be a gentleman; take a deep breath, go for it and have fun!

Aww haha thanks Alex! That's extremely reassuring and touching as well! I'm definitely going for it the next time. You never know, she might be the one!

[Ellyidol]

Red, just to add some humor and hopefully some confidence:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAGiQ3AWKqI

You might like their channel

[ninjaduck]

Aah it really sucks for me...being in an all-boys school. AND NO IT IS NOT SUGGESTIVE...

[RedRyder]

+1 and totally agree with Stomp and JaytB. Good looking out, everyone! I have only a few things to add:

1. Be yourself and be honest. I know you've already been told this several times, and you were probably planning on doing it, anyway. But it's really important, and here's why. Who do you want her to like? You or someone else? I'm serious, and it's really that simple. If you put on a fake personality or try to be who you think she wants you to be, and she becomes interested in "that person" and not the real you, you will forever have to wear that personality or suffer her potential disappointment.

2. Do not shoot for being just friends. OK, I know this sounds corny and possibly also a bit sleazy, but you need to make your intentions clear. Not right away, mind you! If she says yes, and you have a couple dates, you need to start making your wants, needs, and intentions clear to her. Bit by bit, don't overwhelm her! Simply let her know as soon as would be appropriate that you wish to be more than friends, if it is not already clear. Contrary to popular belief, we are not all mind-readers. Do not offer to tutor her! That or anything else like it will get you stuck in that role. I'm speaking from experience on this one...

3. Don't give up or move on right away. If she turns you down and does not have a good reason (in a relationship, married, not heterosexual, insane father, etc.), or any reason at all, she may be checking if you are interested enough to try again. I'm not suggesting you turn into a creeper or stalker, just suggesting you give yourself more than only one shot. Besides, it will take some of the pressure off of your first shot if you know it may not be your only chance. Don't believe anyone that tells you that you only have one chance. Unless she's packing up for a life-long research trip to Mars tomorrow, you'll probably see her again! Ultimately, part of her filtering process may be to never say yes the first time someone asks her out. She may be trying to see who is really interested. If you get the feeling she is, maintain communication to the extent possible and regroup for a second volley in a few days, or so. However, if she says no and gives you a good reason, you must respect her decision. Which leads to my final suggestion:

4. Treat her with the utmost respect. At all times. Do not stare. Do not "check her out" (she notices you doing that, you creep!). If you are fortunate enough to find yourself talking to her, keep your focus on her eyes/face. Do not glance at other parts of her body, even for an instant (she notices that, too, you jerk!). You may offer to shake her hand when you introduce yourself. Other than that, do not touch her. And please, no cheesy or lewd pick-up lines (sorry vaff, unless that pick-up line got you more than a very short-term *wink* relationship or an actual call to help with leg-shaving, your suggestion is out). Trust me, we all know the possible end result of asking someone out. You don't have to go over the top and show her you're already thinking about her with her clothes off! Just let her know, in whatever way you feel comfortable telling her, that you would like to get to know her.

OK, that's all I can think of right now. I wish you the best of luck! From the way you describe her, it sounds like you are genuinely interested in this girl, maybe even head-over-heels! Being open, honest, and respectful in your interactions with her will give her the opportunity to see that for herself.

EDIT (2011-10-21, 07:15): Hit "Submit" before I was done. Oh no! And a few more posted while I was editing! Wow, what a response... Everyone wants to help Red!

Woah I nearly missed this one! All very good points and suggestions! I can't already tell that she'd be a keeper. She's extremely polite and has to be the on girl I see that greets the bus driver with a "good morning", and thanks them upon getting off on our stop.

If I manage to sweep her off her feet, I can almost guarantee I'd be the happiest guy in the world .

[MimeRifle]

Keep us posted for goodness sake! Now we are anxious to hear what happens!!

[drewcapu]

Draw a picture of her and give it to her.

But not before you show it to us and get our approval!!!

[Cascade]

Haha, me and you both max. Every time I try to talk to a girl I like I trip on my tongue. XD Also, since you don't know her name DO NOT call her 'Hey you!' LOL xD

[RedRyder]

Red, just to add some humor and hopefully some confidence:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAGiQ3AWKqI

You might like their channel

That was just amazing lmao, I love the one time the guy succeeds and gets to the date right after picking her up!
The other instances are hilarious haha

[RedRyder]

No update till Tuesday afternoon unfortunately :/ I'm sooo determined now that it's just oozing out of my pores!