The second contest!!

[Vigilante]

Same concept guys from the previous contest I recently did, if you dont know then here:


Whoever makes the funniest sentence wins a mill, pretty legit. Basically I will be reading and scrolling your immature, stupidness, etc that makes me laugh and the one that pretty much cracks me up wins! The sentence could be either a sentence or essay if you please or whatever, but it has to be funny and amusing. Also you could do a meme if you want for those who can not write/ struggling. Please do not plagiarize stuff from the internet, I will know if you do! Do not underestimate this vigilante or else you wont win your mill you've been dreaming about on your wet bed! Furthermore, the date line will be maybe next week? Nahhh lets make it October 9, 2015. Let the funny people begin with their thingy! Good luck my wet kids

Ign: Joecarrol

First place: a mill ( 1.5mill now)
Second place: Too bad ( Maybe )
Third place: Sorry dood
Fourth place: Who just gives out a fourth place? wtf

For second place they would most likely get a mill

Dateline is Oct 25

Contest is officially done, winner is assault, please pm me in private message

[Groaning]

im a unicorn :3 meow

[Iilhopeliliil]

My entry:
The entries of the winners of the previous contest are funny

[Vigilante]

And yes for those who won can still participate in this, if they want to

[fruitbattwo]

When is the final day...

[Vigilante]

The final day would be oct 25

[lelandbroome04]

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the man passes gas and says, "seven points!".

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied "it's fart football."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown! Tie score..."

After about five minutes the old man lets another one goes and says, "Aha, I'm ahead 14 to 7"

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on for the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, "What the hell was that?"

The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

Sent from my SPH-L720T using Tapatalk

[imnins]

My entry: I tried to commit suicide but I back out because it almost killed me.

[AppleNoob]

My entry: I tried to commit suicide but I back out because it almost killed me.

Not even funny.

[imnins]

Not even funny.
i know cuz it almost killed me :c

[iRandom]

im a unicorn :3 meow
I can confirm this.

[Vigilante]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[Assault]

Once apon a time, walking down the street their was 4 kids. The frist kids name was "Shuddap" the second "fvckin" the third "shlt" and the last kid was named "manners". Since the one kid "shlt" was overly obsessed with anything black he ran out onto the road to kiss the ground. He ended up kissing a big black truck. So now that "shlt" was grounded "fvckin" ran over to try help him up. "Shuddap" being the smartest of the four friends called the police, while manners watched dumbfounded.
"What's ur emergency sir" replied the police operator.
"My friend just got ran over by a car" replied "Shuddap"
"What's ur name sir? We got officers 10 minutes out" said the operator.
"Shuddap" replied shuddap
"Excuse me" said the operator
"Shuddap" replied shuddap
"Where your manners sir"! Replied the operator
"He is watching, while "fvckin" my other friend, who is trying to pick up "shlt", who is right in the middle of the road"
-ign vume

[Vigilante]

Once apon a time, walking down the street their was 4 kids. The frist kids name was "Shuddap" the second "fvckin" the third "shlt" and the last kid was named "manners". Since the one kid "shlt" was overly obsessed with anything black he ran out onto the road to kiss the ground. He ended up kissing a big black truck. So now that "shlt" was grounded "fvckin" ran over to try help him up. "Shuddap" being the smartest of the four friends called the police, while manners watched dumbfounded.
"What's ur emergency sir" replied the police operator.
"My friend just got ran over by a car" replied "Shuddap"
"What's ur name sir? We got officers 10 minutes out" said the operator.
"Shuddap" replied shuddap
"Excuse me" said the operator
"Shuddap" replied shuddap
"Where your manners sir"! Replied the operator
"He is watching, while "fvckin" my other friend, who is trying to pick up "shlt", who is right in the middle of the road"
-ign vume

Man I'm pretty sure you'll get the 1.5mill

[iRandom]

Man I'm pretty sure you'll get the 1.5mill

I can't confirm this.

ign:Potatology

[Assault]

I have another funny story, can I win both 2nd and first lol

[lelandbroome04]

Oooooh I got one!!! I'm gonna win this contest as well hopefully!

One day, a father and his daughter are together. The father is putting the daughter to sleep. After the father leaves, he hears her saying her prayers. He hears her say, '' God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa. The father hears all of this and barges back into the room. He asks her, '' Why did you say the last part? '' The daughter replies, '' Because I needed to. '' The next day, grandpa dies. The father thinks, '' Is this just a coincidence?
That night he tucks her daughter into bed. He leaves the room to only hear her prayers again. He hears, '' Bless mommy and daddy, rest in peace grandma. '' The father now is thinking, '' Holy ****, my daughter can see into the future? '' The next day, grandma dies. A week later nothing happens, but the night before Sunday, he is tucking his daughter into bed once more. He leaves and listens for any more prayers. Sure enough, there is another prayer. He hears, '' Bless you mommy, rest in peace daddy. '' The father starts panicking and saying, '' Holy ****! I'm going to die tomorrow! '' The following start of the next day consisted the father being alert all the time, checking the clock, looking around the room, etc. He goes to work to do the same things, being alert, all of that. He looks at the clock again 3 hours later. It's past midnight. The father says, '' How is this possible? I should be dead! '' He goes home and finds his wife on the couch with a scared look on her face. She asks, '' What took you so long!? '' The father says, '' Listen honey, today I haven't had the best of days. '' Then as soon as he is about to tell what happened, she bursts out, '' I saw the mailman die yesterday! ''


Woo. My fingers are tired from all that punctuation mostly...

IGN: Littlemangoby

[lelandbroome04]

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

IGN: Littlemangoby

[lelandbroome04]

Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-f***ing-believable!"

IGN: Littlemangoby

[iRandom]

Woah.

After seeing all this I decided to write a book.... Ten Reasons Why Groaning Should Win


So I'm going to skip all the parts that make a book good like plot, rising action, suspense, and wit.


10. Groaning rhymes with moaning. At first I thought that moaning was like bat and only had 50 words of compatible rhyming. Then Groaning showed me the path to light. I realized that groaning was like orange and had 100 too many words that rhymed with it! Groaning just enlightens people like *that*!

9. She embraces death. Very few times do you not not not not not not not not get the chance to kill Groaning. Just go with the flow and become pro like Groaning! You know what they say, "If you can't beat them join em." (GL Groaning Stepy and I dont play PL anymore)

8. After you know Groaning for a while you realize one important thing. That she is actually... a he. Shocking Right? I know I was too.

7. I seriously couldn't believe that groaning was a he. No seriously. (Actually no not seriously)

6. Groaning aces Rorschach tests.... in his sleep. I mean I don't know this for sure but who said books have to be factual.


End Part 1

[Assault]

Goby you just copied and pasted....

[lelandbroome04]

Goby you just copied and pasted....
No rules saying you can't haha

IGN: Littlemangoby

[Vigilante]

No rules saying you can't haha

IGN: Littlemangoby
Whoever makes the funniest sentence wins a mill, pretty legit. Basically I will be reading and scrolling your immature, stupidness, etc that makes me laugh and the one that pretty much cracks me up wins! The sentence could be either a sentence or essay if you please or whatever, but it has to be funny and amusing. Also you could do a meme if you want for those who can not write/ struggling. Please do not plagiarize stuff from the internet, I will know if you do! Do not underestimate this vigilante or else you wont win your mill you've been dreaming about on your wet bed! Furthermore, the date line will be maybe next week? Nahhh lets make it October 9, 2015. Let the funny people begin with their thingy! Good luck my wet kids

Ign: Joecarrol

First place: a mill ( 1.5mill now)
Second place: Too bad ( Maybe )
Third place: Sorry dood
Fourth place: Who just gives out a fourth place? wtf


Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

[lelandbroome04]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
Oops 😂😂😂

IGN: Littlemangoby

[Demonkinghero]

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, "Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future." "I still don't get it" responded the Little Johnny. "Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better," said the dad. "Okay then...good night" said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middleof the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, buthis dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized somethingand thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, andthe future is full of ****!"

The first two are hilarious but sadly were not made by me. This one though was given to me by a friend, i'm sure you've heard though.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

[Qccuring]

I would call you food, but I don't eat garbage( if u PvP you will think this is funny)

[Qccuring]

When ur playing PL and u gotta go poop but ur not willing to put the game down on the toilet you be doing push push squeeze combos

[lelandbroome04]

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, "Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future." "I still don't get it" responded the Little Johnny. "Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better," said the dad. "Okay then...good night" said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middleof the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, buthis dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized somethingand thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, andthe future is full of ****!"

The first two are hilarious but sadly were not made by me. This one though was given to me by a friend, i'm sure you've heard though.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Lol that was my joke from the last contest the one about the hunters

IGN: Littlemangoby

[Vigilante]

So apparently all the funny jokes I'm getting is being plagiarized not gonna name anyone but you know who you are

[Jeuiskeh]

Jack strode into ‘John’s Stable’ looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said John, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream heyhey the way to get him to go is to scream Thank God.

Jim nodded his head, “fine with me, can I take him for a test run?”

Jim was having the time of his life this horse sure could run he thought to himself. Jim was speeding down the dirt road when he suddenly saw a cliff up ahead “stop!” screamed Jim, but the horse kept on going. No matter how much he tried he could not remember the words to get it to stop. “yoyo” screamed Jim but the horse just kept on speeding ahead. It was 5 feet from the cliff when Jim suddenly remembered “heyhey!” Jim screamed. The horse skidded to a halt just 1 inch from the cliff.
Jim could not believe his good fortune, he looked up to the sky, raise his hands in the air, breathed a deep sigh of relief and said with conviction “Thank God.”


READ THE LAST BIT OF THE FIRST PARAGRAPH AFTER ;)
IGN:jeuiskeh

[Demonkinghero]

So apparently all the funny jokes I'm getting is being plagiarized not gonna name anyone but you know who you are

Ya know technically no joke can really be created and will be found online SOMEWHERE in a sense it's not plagerization if cited from original source, but even then the orginal source is the person who created the joke and with all the passing around of information on the internet; things such as plagerization over [Jokes] is something you can't really call. I can make up a joke, but i'm sure someone has said before so should I track down the first person to say it and cite? No such thing as an original joke these days sadly considering. Its more so about finding a GOOD joke. Get it?

[Groaning]

hmm i wonder why my super hero name is Groan the He? and Leila is Leila the She? ikr ppl think im a she (myb becuz she calls me mom) and leila is a he >_<
and hey is that book on amazon? i would totally buy a copy

[Vigilante]

Ya know technically no joke can really be created and will be found online SOMEWHERE in a sense it's not plagerization if cited from original source, but even then the orginal source is the person who created the joke and with all the passing around of information on the internet; things such as plagerization over [Jokes] is something you can't really call. I can make up a joke, but i'm sure someone has said before so should I track down the first person to say it and cite? No such thing as an original joke these days sadly considering. Its more so about finding a GOOD joke. Get it?

It's not properly cited so its considered plagiarism and yeah why not do your own jokes, these types of jokes are pretty common stories

[iRandom]

The Second Part will be bundled up with the release of the winners of this Contest.

[Demonkinghero]

It's not properly cited so its considered plagiarism and yeah why not do your own jokes, these types of jokes are pretty common stories

plagiarism
the practice of taking someone else's work or ideas and passing them off as one's own.
synonyms: copying, infringement of copyright, piracy, theft, stealing; informalcribbing
"accusations of plagiarism"

Finding it off the internet isn't stealing or passing as our own jokes unless we say I created this joke. Even if it did count it would still be impossible to cite who first said the joke. Even if we SOMEHOW make a joke no one has said before , im sure someone has said before.

If I was to copy an article written on Zara Nelsova by the woman herself then said I wrote it. It would be plagiarism. Basically 9 times outta 10 if its not copyrighted its not really plagiarized.

[Assault]

Hey mine was original.

[Groaning]

irandoms is original :D

[Befs]

plagiarism
the practice of taking someone else's work or ideas and passing them off as one's own.
synonyms: copying, infringement of copyright, piracy, theft, stealing; informalcribbing
"accusations of plagiarism"

Finding it off the internet isn't stealing or passing as our own jokes unless we say I created this joke. Even if it did count it would still be impossible to cite who first said the joke. Even if we SOMEHOW make a joke no one has said before , im sure someone has said before.

If I was to copy an article written on Zara Nelsova by the woman herself then said I wrote it. It would be plagiarism. Basically 9 times outta 10 if its not copyrighted its not really plagiarized.

Pro tip - if you do not site your source, it's plagarised

[Befs]

Entry 1 -

Why is Groaning a good spy?

Because he always has his eyes peeled for trouble

(It's a potato joke, because groan is a potato).

[Demonkinghero]

Pro tip - if you do not site your source, it's plagarised

So I should Cite a joke thats on hundred of different websites. I guess every single person whose posted a joke anywhere or written anything even the words your reading now is wrong since they haven't cited it. Call me an idiot, but stealing music lyrics and pasting them as my own is one thing but a joke off the internet? I must be the biggest idiot then anytime i've ever written anything as such. I'll remember to cite EVERYTHING since apparently NO MATTER how SMALL and COMMON even if its a JOKE.(My sarcasm is horrible._.)

I got a joke just created ^^(I'm sure some one has said before)
What day is national @ss whooping day?
Report Card Day

[Groaning]

Entry 1 -

Why is Groaning a good spy?

Because he always has his eyes peeled for trouble

(It's a potato joke, because groan is a potato).

141833

pls :( you bully

[Vigilante]

Ya know technically no joke can really be created and will be found online SOMEWHERE in a sense it's not plagerization if cited from original source, but even then the orginal source is the person who created the joke and with all the passing around of information on the internet; things such as plagerization over [Jokes] is something you can't really call. I can make up a joke, but i'm sure someone has said before so should I track down the first person to say it and cite? No such thing as an original joke these days sadly considering. Its more so about finding a GOOD joke. Get it?

Just to be sure, a joke can be created if you are much experienced in jokes and not getting off by someone's efforts. BUT just to be clear I did say do not get stuff from the internet. Problem solved. And yeah if you dont cite it from all the websites, then lets call it plagiarized, what about that? Otherwise make a joke from your own words. If you can't then this contest really is not fitting for you. Thats all, no hard feelings bruh

[iRandom]

So I should Cite a joke thats on hundred of different websites. I guess every single person whose posted a joke anywhere or written anything even the words your reading now is wrong since they haven't cited it. Call me an idiot, but stealing music lyrics and pasting them as my own is one thing but a joke off the internet? I must be the biggest idiot then anytime i've ever written anything as such. I'll remember to cite EVERYTHING since apparently NO MATTER how SMALL and COMMON even if its a JOKE.(My sarcasm is horrible._.)

I got a joke just created ^^(I'm sure some one has said before)
What day is national @ss whooping day?
Report Card Day

Lol its simple
If u read a joke online and post it then it does not count as a valid entry

[Befs]

plagiarism
the practice of taking someone else's work or ideas and passing them off as one's own.
synonyms: copying, infringement of copyright, piracy, theft, stealing; informalcribbing
"accusations of plagiarism"

Finding it off the internet isn't stealing or passing as our own jokes unless we say I created this joke. Even if it did count it would still be impossible to cite who first said the joke. Even if we SOMEHOW make a joke no one has said before , im sure someone has said before.

If I was to copy an article written on Zara Nelsova by the woman herself then said I wrote it. It would be plagiarism. Basically 9 times outta 10 if its not copyrighted its not really plagiarized.

It is actually stealing.

and since u like the definition game -

steal
stēl/Submit
verb
gerund or present participle: stealing
1.
take (another person's property) without permission or legal right and without intending to return it.
"thieves stole her bicycle"
synonyms: purloin, thieve, take, take for oneself, help oneself to, loot, pilfer, run off with, abscond with, carry off, shoplift; More
dishonestly pass off (another person's ideas) as one's own.
"accusations that one group had stolen ideas from the other were soon flying"
synonyms: plagiarize, copy, pass off as one's own, pirate, poach, borrow; More
take the opportunity to give or share (a kiss) when it is not expected or when people are not watching.
"he was allowed to steal a kiss in the darkness"
synonyms: snatch, sneak, get stealthily/surreptitiously
"he stole a kiss"
(in various sports) gain (an advantage, a run, or possession of the ball) unexpectedly or by exploiting the temporary distraction of an opponent.
BASEBALL
(of a base runner) advance safely to (the next base) by running to it as the pitcher begins the delivery.
"Rickey stole third base"
2.
move somewhere quietly or surreptitiously.
"he stole down to the kitchen"
synonyms: creep, sneak, slink, slip, slide, glide, tiptoe, sidle, edge
"he stole out of the room"

[Anaristia]

this sounds cool

[typicalnike]

SO there was an english man a scottish man and an irish man. They were at the park on the slide when suddenly a genie appeared and the genie said "i will grant you one wish and you will slide into it." The english man being the smartest said "I want a pot of gold" and the genie granted his wish as the english man slid down into the pot of gold. The scottish man being not so clever said "i want a pot of silver" and the scottish man slid down and landed into the pot of silver. Then the irish man who was dumb as fvck and drunk as hell didnt even know what was going on and Yelled "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" as he slid down and the slide into a massive pot of wee.

IGN: merchprices

[Writing]

Why, after reading this, does the the brain not recognize the second the?

Ign - Writing

[iRandom]

When someone asks me if they could borrow my Founder's Helm, I think to myself

"Were you busy tying your shoe when the brains were getting dished out?
No, that can't be. I mean there's proof right here (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/13/larry-mcelroy-armadillo_n_7056984.html) and right here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)"

Human Stupidity: It's endless.

[The Voices]

My Entry:
You know what's funny? That Donald Trump hasn't been stumped yet.

[Vigilante]

Actually I forgot to announce the winners xd Maybe next week, I have a busy schedule atm

[Pollinate]

I think I'm trying way too hard on this ._.

[Vapourised]

Yo mama is so stupid, she scheduled an appointment with Dr Pepper to get a BLUETOOTH.

[Vapourised]

Booooooom! Another one: I would hit you but that would be animal abuse.

[humiiii]

Husband: hey hun?
Wife: yea whats up babe?
Husband: our family name is dat bich, i think i know how we are gonna call our son.
Wife: oh sweet? What would be his name?
Husband: i want to call him phuc, it can be funny.
Wife: haha indeed! Yes it can be verry funny, lets call him phuc.
143761

Pray for him.