NoseToNose
08-20-2011, 02:06 PM
*Disclaimer: Take this post as it is, and realize it is for motivational purposes and in no way farming for sympathy, attention, items, or in game currency. Its main purpose is to help others no matter what they may be going through. It was not easy to write, and share though if I can even help one person struggling that it would be worth it. You are entitled to your own opinion but all I ask is you be respectful and kind, if not to me then at least the others who may post here. Also none of that I'm so sorry this happened to you, it doesn't change what happened and I'm not sorry as its made me who I am today.*
Story: Part One It wasn't long into myself that I left my childhood behind, but a blink of the eye for some, seven years old and an adult through a mixture of fate and choice. At an age slightly before seven a gentlemen living in my childhood home continiously asked me to do things of an adult nature, and while he never forced me into anything when I refused none the less it had the same effect on my mind, heart and soul. I told my mother but she refused, refused to believe me, refused to believe this could happen in her home and therefore refused to protect me so thus it continued unfettered until one day came. On that day my brother and I were scheduled to see our father for the first rememberable time in our existance, we were scheduled to see him for two long weeks.
Story: Part Two He arrived with love and open arms, a glorious figure of light to behold to a fatherless child's eyes, a beacon of hope.
I remained to myself for the first half of the period as our father continued to shower us with affection and praise. At the final urging of my brother I opened up to my father and told him about everything that had happened in my mother's home. As a short period of month's passed and the investigation of the allegations continued on, the state placed us perminantly in the home of our father, and my torturer walked free from his crimes. Life continued on, and our father's affection wained as he wrapped himself up in work and everything other then home. Our seventh birthday came and went no distinctive memories, a party and gifts, a cake and a wish, the boy I was was no more. A month, or two had passed and the boy turned into a man as his father dimmed from glorious being to brutal force, striking me and my brother for childish wrongs, and using his words in the same way. It was in this moment the boy turned man took on the world and much like Atlas bore it upon his shoulders. The boy turned man's eyes dimmed and he took upon his brother sin so his brother could remain a boy of young, childish vigor renewed in him. This continued for several years from the age of seven I seventeen. The boy turned man turned I twisted and dark became. Scars brought to bare upon his body and soul. My hatred for the world grew, and the target of hatred myself. This boy turned man turned I continued to the age of nineteen. I was lost in so many way struggling to survive.
Story: Part Three I found myself on domestic shore in Chicago through boot camp. It wasn't long before I sought a way to sleep forever more. Two bottles of pills and a fateful night the boy turned man turned I was no more. His suicide a catalyst to the last phrase of I. I stood up tall through broke I felt and sought the help of others. To this day I find thanks in that for a lost sheep had found his pasture. The bitterness, the pain, and hate soon left me altogether. I tell you this not to hear pity in your voice or sorrow in your for the boy turned man turned I whom died but for the man I am today. It has been a long road these last six years and I have much more to walk but I feel myself strong and through all obstacles shall remain. I love myself for who I am and who I am becoming. I have faith that you will not judge me for a past of which I could not control.
Conclusion I decided to put this up to show others that no matter what you go through, no matter what tribulations you can use it to push you forward, and not gold you back. I will always have some scars, of one form or another but in end even scars fade. You can get through anything, no matter how hard. I have good days and bad, but throughout I have learned compassion, generousity, forgiveness, strength, and endless love.
Some days are hard for me, some brings me sorrow when they should not, though it marks another day of survival, as well as personal growth. Never stop growing day in and day out even the bad can teach us good. IGN: Scotty, Jigsaw, And Limitless
Story: Part One It wasn't long into myself that I left my childhood behind, but a blink of the eye for some, seven years old and an adult through a mixture of fate and choice. At an age slightly before seven a gentlemen living in my childhood home continiously asked me to do things of an adult nature, and while he never forced me into anything when I refused none the less it had the same effect on my mind, heart and soul. I told my mother but she refused, refused to believe me, refused to believe this could happen in her home and therefore refused to protect me so thus it continued unfettered until one day came. On that day my brother and I were scheduled to see our father for the first rememberable time in our existance, we were scheduled to see him for two long weeks.
Story: Part Two He arrived with love and open arms, a glorious figure of light to behold to a fatherless child's eyes, a beacon of hope.
I remained to myself for the first half of the period as our father continued to shower us with affection and praise. At the final urging of my brother I opened up to my father and told him about everything that had happened in my mother's home. As a short period of month's passed and the investigation of the allegations continued on, the state placed us perminantly in the home of our father, and my torturer walked free from his crimes. Life continued on, and our father's affection wained as he wrapped himself up in work and everything other then home. Our seventh birthday came and went no distinctive memories, a party and gifts, a cake and a wish, the boy I was was no more. A month, or two had passed and the boy turned into a man as his father dimmed from glorious being to brutal force, striking me and my brother for childish wrongs, and using his words in the same way. It was in this moment the boy turned man took on the world and much like Atlas bore it upon his shoulders. The boy turned man's eyes dimmed and he took upon his brother sin so his brother could remain a boy of young, childish vigor renewed in him. This continued for several years from the age of seven I seventeen. The boy turned man turned I twisted and dark became. Scars brought to bare upon his body and soul. My hatred for the world grew, and the target of hatred myself. This boy turned man turned I continued to the age of nineteen. I was lost in so many way struggling to survive.
Story: Part Three I found myself on domestic shore in Chicago through boot camp. It wasn't long before I sought a way to sleep forever more. Two bottles of pills and a fateful night the boy turned man turned I was no more. His suicide a catalyst to the last phrase of I. I stood up tall through broke I felt and sought the help of others. To this day I find thanks in that for a lost sheep had found his pasture. The bitterness, the pain, and hate soon left me altogether. I tell you this not to hear pity in your voice or sorrow in your for the boy turned man turned I whom died but for the man I am today. It has been a long road these last six years and I have much more to walk but I feel myself strong and through all obstacles shall remain. I love myself for who I am and who I am becoming. I have faith that you will not judge me for a past of which I could not control.
Conclusion I decided to put this up to show others that no matter what you go through, no matter what tribulations you can use it to push you forward, and not gold you back. I will always have some scars, of one form or another but in end even scars fade. You can get through anything, no matter how hard. I have good days and bad, but throughout I have learned compassion, generousity, forgiveness, strength, and endless love.
Some days are hard for me, some brings me sorrow when they should not, though it marks another day of survival, as well as personal growth. Never stop growing day in and day out even the bad can teach us good. IGN: Scotty, Jigsaw, And Limitless