Why do my parents punish me over sports?

[Onaraasider]

I am a 14 year old boy and went through my first season of track this summer, and I started out horrible but i became better and better as i went to practice. So now Track season is over for me and we are having our last few practices and just yesterday at practice my hips were beginning to hurt after i started running.I always have a few pains that i can run with,such as my shin hurting when I bend down into the blocks,but my hips were hurting a lot when I ran. So at practice, we were racing 50m after doing the 400m the hard way. and i was paired with 3 girls,ages: 9,14,15.(only because the coaches could tell i was hurting)I could usually always beat them in a race but today my hips were hurting keeping me from running my full speed. So i kept trying to beat them because of my dad sitting there watching and i just couldn't. So then after every race(we did 3) I told him that my hips were hurting and he said: "I don't care if your hips hurting you better not let them beat you again!" I'm not one of those that do the opposite of what their parents say just to make them mad, so i continued to try and keep up and ended up barely tying with the 9year old once. So then we ended practice and my dad was yelling and saying things that really hurt me. I tried to tell him that my hips hurt, but all he said was: "Don't tell me this crap about your hip hurting, that's what little girls say!" Then he was yelling the whole freaking way home(30mins) about how i got beat by a nine year old girl. Then when we got home he took my iPod Touch (have even had it for a month yet,just got for my b-day,Jun 15) and said i can get it back if on Saturday I am beating the people I'm with and placed in an appropriate group. I expected to get sympathy from my mom because she runs track and knows it's not like football where you run your best even when your in pain.But all she said was that i didn't try my best and it was my fault. Now back to the question: why am i getting punished over sports?
it just doesn't make sense how even though I'm hurting i get punished.Why does my dad care so much about me getting beat by a 9year old girl when I'm hurting? Oh, did i mention that these last practices are for people who are going to Orlando,Florida for the last track meet, which I'm not going to? I have been truly mad since last night, and usually after i sleep i wake up and either forget or forgive them for whatever happened but now i won't even hug my mom, or look my dad in the eye, no matter how much they joke around with me because they don't care about the problem anymore. i actually cried last night which i haven't done since i was 11.
My dad is not sexist, all the coaches(even the coaches wife) says we should never get beat by a girl the same age or younger than us.And i do my best in sports, as i said the season is over and i have tried my best all summer even in horrible heat. My best time 60seconds for the 400m in my first year.
-Just need your opinions.

[Jugernugetx]

:concern:

[Ithrive]

I care why????

[plmafiaboss]

I care why????you cared enough to post. As for ur parents idk what to tell u :/ its really dumm they wud punish u over tht

[HunterSLAYER]

Tiger mum and Wolf dad huhuhu.
Just kidding. No offence, but some parents expect the best of their kids and go to extreme measures to make them stand out so that they have a sense of pride.

Sent from my HTC ThunderBolt using Xparent ICS Blue Tapatalk 2

[Cahaun]

I care why????
If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all!

I really hope all turns out good for you later. Teen-ager years are very stressful. Be strong and hang in there. You'll see many curves on your way to adulthood, but know this: it'll get better in the end.
As for your hips, ouch! I have two bad knees from carrying around my entire locker in high-school. :(

Best of luck and feel better

[razerfingers]

I dont do sports but my dad has had a hurt wrist and shoulder for the past wreks so he expects me to lift the heavy stuff and some i cant but he gets all mad that i cant. Its not nearly as bad but its close along the lines with you except i dont get punished.

Sent using spray paint from a "can"

[Xionskull]

Lol. Bro he only took for a little while. Not that big a deal. Just tell him ur hurt and all if he doesn't listen he has serious issues.

[Zaonabiuibil]

I also run track, and my parents do pretty much the same thing. Once my father said "either come home a winner or don't at all." Parents are sometimes so blinded by a sense of responsibility in their kid winning, or pride, yet in this case it's irresponsibility. If you are injured, who cares what they say? Punishment? Pfff, the parents are only punishing themselves for losing a bond with you over a stupid sport injury that tons of people get. Also, if you are in pain, just don't do it, or it could make the injury worse. If your parents can't take the responsibility and secure your safety, they need to have a serious talk. That's just my two cents.

[Paar]

Talledaga Nights: If you ain't first your last.

[Sryyoulose]

Man that sucks... To be honest with you, if your hips are hurting you shouldn't run... It's practice after all. From a soccer player who knows what it feels like to be injured and run I run at almost 75% of my average speed and even that's in pain. I feel for you you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Cahaun]

If this injury keeps up, don't run! The worst case scenario is that a bone gets broken. Just let it heal over time.

*Casts empathy*

[FluffNStuff]

Were you hurt or injured? Also, did you stretch and warm up properly? Also, do you wear the proper shoes for your feet type (I didn't, destroyed my knees).

[Piosidon]

The reason why they're punishing you is because they don't believe you about you trying you best, your injury, they are ashamed that their child was beaten by a girl a few years younger than him, or all of the above. If your parents are usually like that though, I'd think it would be that they don't think you tried your best. My solution would be to see a doctor about your injury (hopefully a doctor will convince your parents that somethings wrong). Good luck!

[Fao]

Dang that sucks! I run track and cross country and all that matters to my parents is that I do my best! Hope you feel better soon so you can get back to running!

[wvhills]

ur parents probably won't take you to a doctor if they don't believe you are hurt. Does your team have an athletic trainer or someone else who treats injuries? If so, talk to that person and let them know what's going on. After they look at you they'll be able to tell your parents what's going on. If you don't have a trainer then tell your coach. They should be able to help.

[RedRyder]

This sounds like something that none of us should provide input for. Private family matters. The best you could do is what rob advised, but it really isn't our place.

[NotYoCookiez]

It may not be our place but I'm doing because I care.

Always, just keep your head up Bro. I play soccer and we condition just like track. I know because I also played track. Your parents wants the best of you and I love when my parents say I'm not good and I should beat them.

Take these words and use them to motivate you. Push yourself each time you go to track. You will never get better if you don't leave your "comfort zone".

Your parents only want the best from you. Just my mine and many others. In fact if it wasn't for my parents I wouldn't be on one of the best soccer team in my area.

Hope you feel better :D

[Onaraasider]

I care why????If you dont care why the heck did you click on this thread?

[Onaraasider]

Thank you all for your intake, but those that say i will get it back soon, it says IF i am appropriately placed in a better group(coaches decision by the way I'm running or hurting) and if I am beating those that i run again.
What i really am trying to say is why am i getting punished at the END of the season when we have no track meet coming up, and while im hurting.

[Piosidon]

Thank you all for your intake, but those that say i will get it back soon, it says IF i am appropriately placed in a better group(coaches decision by the way I'm running or hurting) and if I am beating those that i run again.
What i really am trying to say is why am i getting punished at the END of the season when we have no track meet coming up, and while im hurting.
They want you to be in tip top shape?

[Onaraasider]

It may not be our place but I'm doing because I care.

Always, just keep your head up Bro. I play soccer and we condition just like track. I know because I also played track. Your parents wants the best of you and I love when my parents say I'm not good and I should beat them.

Take these words and use them to motivate you. Push yourself each time you go to track. You will never get better if you don't leave your "comfort zone".

Your parents only want the best from you. Just my mine and many others. In fact if it wasn't for my parents I wouldn't be on one of the best soccer team in my area.

Hope you feel better :D

I don't stay in my comfort zone, and at meets i try the best i can sometimes even harder than i should. I love track, and i just hate how my parents say I'm not trying the best i can when i know i am trying as hard as i can.

[Onaraasider]

They want you to be in tip top shape?

Of course they want me to stay in shape but that's is not why they are punishing me i do many things to stay in shape daily or weekly,skating,stretching and sometimes P90X.

[Jblazer]

This kinda stuff happens.They are not trying to be mean,however they believe that you weren't trying 110%.And i'm sure it's hard for them as parents.I play on a football team myself i'm ranked 2nd in the League.So obviously they expect a lot of me.But what really matters is they encourage you when you are about to give up.I wouldn't hold a grudge against you're parents for this.I agree they didn't make a good choice,but they'll come back and make a better one some day.

[Mothwing]

This sounds like something that none of us should provide input for. Private family matters. The best you could do is what rob advised, but it really isn't our place.

He's looking for support from us, if he wanted it to stay private, he wouldn't have posted.

It happens to me as well. I play basketball, and my family is very competitive. One bad game, and I could lose all my hobbies (like video games) for a week or more. The only reason they're hard on you, is because they see your talent. They believe that you'll make it far in whatever sport you're doing. Besides, it's better to have a caring family than to have a family that doesn't support you at all right? Trust me, they're doing it for the best. Just look at it as constructive criticism, and channel your anger/energy into your next event.

If your legs really do hurt you, you definitely want to stretch for an hour before your event. I have the same problem. I'm about the same age as you, and my legs also bother me quite a bit. It's because you're growing :o Whenever I stretch, my legs feel fine :)

Keep doing your best, and you'll be fine :)

[XghostzX]

Hey Man,

To start off, keep trying your best. Don't let others, especially your parents tell you that you're trying hard enough when you know you are.

I used to have a Step Dad that would always (excuse me) ***** about me not going hard enough in sports. I was hurt by the things he would say to me all the time, and instead of taking it, I stood up to him. I know it sounds cheesy coming from someone you don't know, but I yelled in his face "Instead of telling me to run harder in soccer, why don't you get off the couch and try running for once fat ***!" Yeah it felt awesome, heck, he even stopped giving me grudges. (Luckily my Mom found a better husband.) I soon found out this step dad of mine only wanted me to get scholarships for soccer; he didn't trust my academic skills nor did he want to pay anything into my college tuition.

I don't believe that parents should ever push a child too far because they 'see talent' in someone. That's abuse, and you're taking away a kid's rights.

This is probably your real Father we're talking about, but a true father would never tell his Son he's not good enough. Stand up to him, find that courage to do so.

Best of luck though... if you need anything send a PM.

[Livemau]

hey ona whats up!
it may seem bad that you are losing to such lesser opponents but look at it this way
you could have no legs or be in a wheelchair from birth even worse yet...
AIDS or even worse yet...
DIE IN THE HALOCUAUST (and im not talking about falling off the guard tower)
looks like you need the off season to give yourself a break as it probably will heal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkOBv2gkMOY
my computor is acting up so i couldnt directly post the vid or even play pl on it atm

[Onaraasider]

hey ona whats up!
it may seem bad that you are losing to such lesser opponents but look at it this way
you could have no legs or be in a wheelchair from birth even worse yet...
AIDS or even worse yet...
DIE IN THE HALOCUAUST (and im not talking about falling off the guard tower)
looks like you need the off season to give yourself a break as it probably will heal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkOBv2gkMOY
my computor is acting up so i couldnt directly post the vid or even play pl on it atm

Lol that video made my day.:D

[Onaraasider]

Hey Man,

To start off, keep trying your best. Don't let others, especially your parents tell you that you're trying hard enough when you know you are.

I used to have a Step Dad that would always (excuse me) ***** about me not going hard enough in sports. I was hurt by the things he would say to me all the time, and instead of taking it, I stood up to him. I know it sounds cheesy coming from someone you don't know, but I yelled in his face "Instead of telling me to run harder in soccer, why don't you get off the couch and try running for once fat ***!" Yeah it felt awesome, heck, he even stopped giving me grudges. (Luckily my Mom found a better husband.) I soon found out this step dad of mine only wanted me to get scholarships for soccer; he didn't trust my academic skills nor did he want to pay anything into my college tuition.

I don't believe that parents should ever push a child too far because they 'see talent' in someone. That's abuse, and you're taking away a kid's rights.

This is probably your real Father we're talking about, but a true father would never tell his Son he's not good enough. Stand up to him, find that courage to do so.

Best of luck though... if you need anything send a PM. I not that mad anymore, still a bit, but i have snapped on my dad once, and it was when I said: "I dont care" It isnt a good idea for me to snap on my dad because he is my real father giving him the right to punish me.

[Onaraasider]

He's looking for support from us, if he wanted it to stay private, he wouldn't have posted.

It happens to me as well. I play basketball, and my family is very competitive. One bad game, and I could lose all my hobbies (like video games) for a week or more. The only reason they're hard on you, is because they see your talent. They believe that you'll make it far in whatever sport you're doing. Besides, it's better to have a caring family than to have a family that doesn't support you at all right? Trust me, they're doing it for the best. Just look at it as constructive criticism, and channel your anger/energy into your next event.

If your legs really do hurt you, you definitely want to stretch for an hour before your event. I have the same problem. I'm about the same age as you, and my legs also bother me quite a bit. It's because you're growing :o Whenever I stretch, my legs feel fine :)

Keep doing your best, and you'll be fine :)
To bad I'm not running fall track, because i would've had something to make me run like flash.

[Zaonabiuibil]

hey ona whats up!
it may seem bad that you are losing to such lesser opponents but look at it this way
you could have no legs or be in a wheelchair from birth even worse yet...
AIDS or even worse yet...
DIE IN THE HALOCUAUST (and im not talking about falling off the guard tower)
looks like you need the off season to give yourself a break as it probably will heal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkOBv2gkMOY
my computor is acting up so i couldnt directly post the vid or even play pl on it atm

TROLOLOLOL! Funniest vid ever!

[Onaraasider]

Something funny is, i could easily find my iPod using the find my iPhone app on iCloud.com,but i am controlling myself.

[StompArtist]

I don't want to get into the parenting subject but do find a way to get those hips checked by a physician. Hip injuries can cause serious disabilities/problems later in life , don't mess with these.

http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/cms/article-detail.asp?articleid=1383

[RioMage]

Maybe he wants to see you do what he hadn't got the chance to do when he was young. My dad is like that also, but I know he just wants to see me do my best. I play tennis which is constant running. Parents like to get the chance to brag about their children. Now I am not saying I agree with that punishment. I would have been steaming too.

[RedRyder]

If you really want our opinion then, your parents are jerks, in that situation at least.

[adis]

I totally understand how you feel. My parents push me a lot in education too. I tried and tried to make them proud and be good enough for them, especially for my dad. He expects a lot from me. But I could never live up to his expectations. I gave up and just do what I can. When I had a tumor I felt horrible that I tried all that and now I am gonna die without having a life. But when I'm cured I go back to school to find that life as I know it is gone. Lost all my friends and all the glory, and my singing voice. I'm now just a shadow of who I once was. *holds your hand and pats you in the back* don't give up man. You are not alone. Keep fighting.

[Pandamoni]

I'm sorry. The best thing about being an adult and having my kids is taking the good my parents gave me and using that to parent but leaving the bad stuff behind and remembering what it feels like to have no power against irrational, demeaning punishments. Once things calm down I suggest asking your mom or dad to schedule a doctors appt so you can get your hips checked. Good luck.

[Kixxler]

hey ona whats up!
it may seem bad that you are losing to such lesser opponents but look at it this way
you could have no legs or be in a wheelchair from birth even worse yet...
AIDS or even worse yet...
DIE IN THE HALOCUAUST (and im not talking about falling off the guard tower)
looks like you need the off season to give yourself a break as it probably will heal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkOBv2gkMOY
my computor is acting up so i couldnt directly post the vid or even play pl on it atm
Do it like Livemau suggested, shoot your competitors. Or just throw teddy bears onto the grass to sidetrack them, we are talking about 9 year old girls after all.

[Floating]

I beleive that some parents want their children to be winners. But they want it that bad they do not understand the situation their child is in. For example, in your situation, your dad beleived you were the best of all, that I do not say you are not, and he was a jerk to be mean to you because you did not beat them. Doing sports is not about winning in my opinion. It is about getting morals and a better body, like what ancient greeks said "Νους υγιήσ εν σώματι υγιή". If your father cannot understand why you do the run practise then I would say he has some inner phycological problems that he tries to beat via you winning races or something. Be happy! You know that you hurt so do not listen to him. He just nerdraged for no reason on u... :)

[Zraorizer]

I know how you felt when that happened.I've been there only in soccer a few months ago I was playing CAM=Central Attacking Middle
When my team mate passed the ball to me there was no one else there but me so I had to run over there but 2 people tripped me (I was close to having penalty) my fingers got crushed and my arm felt really weird like I couldn't move them.I was gonna be switched with someone else but then my parents said "It's only your arms and hands.You need legs to play" So when I heard them I told my coach the same. When I was suppose to kick the soccer ball I knew there was 1% chance I would make it since there were no ways of getting in and 99% missing.
So the only way was to get passed the people who are supposed to jump and guard the goalie.When I kicked it I made it like a curve, the goalie went the same way but he was so close to catch the ball.so when the ball curved it hit the post and went in which my parents were glad since it was the finals against the hard team.

My point is try your best there is a chance you can make it next time. Just try to move to an angle it won't hurt.

[Flowman]

Actually LOLing at all of you people saying his parents are "doing it for his best interest."
Assuming most of you have never played sports before, were never the star of your team for some time, or are still quite young.

Your parents are doing it because you're embarrassing them. They don't care about if you're enjoying yourself, or if you doing well benefits you in any way. It's about their own pathetic sense of pride. If you do well, people know you're their son, and it makes them look good. People will come up to them and be like "WOW your son did great today!" and it makes THEM feel good. When you perform poorly, they get paranoid about everything people do. If someone glances at them the wrong way, they assume it's because you did bad in your event and they're thinking less of them as parents. They then lash out on you because YOU embarrassed THEM. It doesn't matter if people are actually thinking less of them as parents or not, because they have it in their mind that they do. This is extremely common with kids who were really good at sports at a young age, but then everyone else caught up. The parents are used to you being a star and when you start slipping, they think people look at them like it's their fault.

How do I know this? This is the exact reason why I had my coaches ban my dad from my ice hockey games, and then eventually quit playing forever.

[Worship]

Parents like to see their children succeed. They also like to see them try their best at EVERYTHING. I'm no parent, I'm not even outta high school yet, but I know this because I run as well. I hate running, absolutely HATE it, but I still do it because I'm fast. I do long distance (mile time- 4:23)(5k time- 17:58) But I still hate running.. D: I do it because my parents expect me to like it because I'm good. So what I'm trying to say is, just stick to what you do best if you want you parents to be happy with you. :wink:

[Worship]

Actually LOLing at all of you people saying his parents are "doing it for his best interest."
Assuming most of you have never played sports before, were never the star of your team for some time, or are still quite young.

Your parents are doing it because you're embarrassing them. They don't care about if you're enjoying yourself, or if you doing well benefits you in any way. It's about their own pathetic sense of pride. If you do well, people know you're their son, and it makes them look good. People will come up to them and be like "WOW your son did great today!" and it makes THEM feel good. When you perform poorly, they get paranoid about everything people do. If someone glances at them the wrong way, they assume it's because you did bad in your event and they're thinking less of them as parents. They then lash out on you because YOU embarrassed THEM. It doesn't matter if people are actually thinking less of them as parents or not, because they have it in their mind that they do. This is extremely common with kids who were really good at sports at a young age, but then everyone else caught up. The parents are used to you being a star and when you start slipping, they think people look at them like it's their fault.

How do I know this? This is the exact reason why I had my coaches ban my dad from my ice hockey games, and then eventually quit playing forever.
Exactly! Even my parents tell me that I'm embarrassing them.. Read my post^^ you may understand then.. :I

[StompArtist]

Call me crazy but i was under the impression that sports are suppose to be fun...

[Jblazer]

Call me crazy but i was under the impression that sports are suppose to be fun...
LOL!

[Onaraasider]

Yeah my dad did say i should be embarassed, but i wasnt because most of my teammates could tell i was hurting and that i am not really a sprinter.I got my ipod back yesterday though.

[Worship]

Hurray! iPod! :o

[adis]

Yeah my dad did say i should be embarassed, but i wasnt because most of my teammates could tell i was hurting and that i am not really a sprinter.I got my ipod back yesterday though.
I don't think you should be embarrassed man. Congratulations on getting your iPod back. Just make a thread here if you want someone to talk to or if you want support.