PDA

View Full Version : Journal of a Fnordian Immigrant.



Cascade
09-22-2010, 09:18 PM
May 4th, 2010





I woke up to banging on the front door. I threw on my robe on quickly ran to the front door. I opened the door and I saw Blaine-a Fnordian guard. "Frogmar and her henchcrocs are quickly taking over the towne, get out before they search your house" he said desperately. I said "Ok I will pack quickly, Bye.". I shut the door and ran back to my room to change and pack my belongings. -1 hour later-. I was walking along the path out of Fnord in disguise when a passing Croc guard stopped me and asked for my identification. I paniced and ran towards the Fnord exit. The Croc fired his Bayou Bow at me one nearly killed me. I made it! I had made it out of the Fnord exit and ran into the woods, the Croc was quickly baffled by the woods and gave up the chase. I rested on a sappy log. That's when I heard it. A russeling in the woods behind me. It stepped out of the woods and I gaped in awe.


If you want more just post here and let me know :) Tell me what you think :)

Gaabob
09-22-2010, 09:27 PM
It has good parts and bad parts... If I had a computer nearby I would retype it for you (simple grammar and structure issues)but I want to go play PL.

Royce
09-22-2010, 09:37 PM
Fnordic is the preferred term ;) Only the uncivilized Ursan barbarian tribes of southern Fnord used the term Fnordian. Anyway, great concept, and a nice start, but doesn't quite capture the true spirit of the Fnordic Exodus for me. Aliens hadn't entered the picture yet, and it was said to be Frogmar that overran Fnord (though she may very well have been under the influence of the aliens). Some recognition of the friendly and spirited place Fnord was would be nice. Also some mention of the shock upon exposure to the hustle and bustle, and more selfish attitude of big city Alterra would be cool, perhaps as a second entry:)

Kingofhurtz
09-22-2010, 10:08 PM
I wanna know what happens! :D

Cascade
09-22-2010, 11:07 PM
Thank you for your feedback guys especially royce since he is an expert on the former Fnord.

jonboy
09-23-2010, 12:51 AM
Fan Fiction? already.....ok I guess.

and way to many sentences starting with I.

Cascade
09-23-2010, 10:41 AM
Thanks jon...and there are numerous stories written by fans. Please realize that I typed this out on my phone real quick before I got to church so I didn't have that much time to plan it out or anything.