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Crazy how time flies..

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I can't help but looking back on this blog and reminiscing how different I was, how the world was a couple years ago. Time's like a sleeping cow that got spanked on the behind, sending it into a full on stampede. It just doesn't stop man. I was 12-14 when I started blogging on here and four years later, I've returned to cremate the remains of my old self. I can't help but look at what was on my mind, the basis of my existence, was revolving around a videogame and such insignificant stuff like making gold and stuff like that. I guess it's part of the learning process. Here I am again. Maybe future me is looking back on this and cringing. Maybe future me exists as I speak in an alternate reality. There's really no way to know except to live my life and see what happens.

So allow me to reintroduce myself. The name is Josh. I'm 18. half Korean, half Caucasian, probably the most attractive man you will ever meet in your entire life. I like videogames, reading, writing, philosophy, joking around, harmless trolling, drawing, listening to music, dancing, and cooking. I've suffered with anxiety and family issues all my life so I'm pretty messed up but I'm workin through it. Currently I live in the United States and just graduated high school. I'm trying to find purpose in my life, and right now it's scratching this freakin itch on my back. Jeez louise man. Anyways when it comes to my personality, I'm either bubbly or pretty chill. I'm either one of the funniest people ever or one of the lamest. There's no in between with me. I'm pretty freakin extreme #yolo. Haha anyways though I like thinking about the human race and the nature of people and spiritual awareness and stuff like that. I did psychedelic drugs in high school, I experimented a lot. Drank a lot. Did a lot of stuff. Totally sober now though. But ever since I have been tripping I have been thinking a lot about life. We tend to assign meaning to things but life is just itself. It just is. It's particles moving around, trying to obtain equilibrium. And like we live on different levels of consciousness. Everything in the world is vibrating because it is made of atoms. When we go through different emotions we vibrate and different frequencies. Everything we say, do, and think radiate throughout our entire body and into the depths of the universe. Crazy to think about. Something about life is so.. surreal. Like a dream you could have sworn was real but wasn't. It's just this weird feeling that is hard to explain. Just took a second away after writing htis blog post and read it and realized I went off on one of those mental tangents I talk about in the next paragraph. Lol. Also my favorite artists right now are Post Malone and XXXTentacion. I also love electronic music too. If anyone knows any good songs post in the comments.

Anyways all that talk about deep stuff has got me really thirsty so I'm going to chug a huge glass of water.
>I'm back from my water break. I really don't know what else to write now. Kinda lost my train of thought here. Life man. *a deep sigh* Man. It's so hard to put into words. This omnipresent feeling. It just.. is. YOu feel me like agghhhhh. But yeah I'm sure everyone can relate because we are all in essence, the same. We're like all part of the same ocean, but we're making different waves through our physical bodies. I like talking about this stuff. Been watching a lot of Jim Carrey (his more recent stuff) and Infinitewaters on Youtube. I just had Chick Fil A and my tummy is growling because that chicken patty was MAD SPICY. I feel like I'm super relatable but also out of this world. Paradoxical huh? Get used to it. Am I the only one that talks to myself on a regular basis when I'm alone? Then I'll realize I'm talking to myself and realize the conversation makes absolutely no damn sense. Sometimes I'll be thinking about the auctions I put up in Star Legends while on the toilet and next thing I know I'm thinking about who the next President is gonna be. You get my point. Sometimes you gotta catch yourself you know. It's easy to get lost in that noggin. Bleh I feel like my blog isn't good enough for some reason. Thinking about whose gonna read this and what they'll think about it and what they'll think about me. But you know what, I'ma just put it out there. Sometimes I care too much about what other people think. It's stopped me from doing things I've wanted to do a lot.

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  1. Otah's Avatar
    Updated 10-26-2018 at 07:21 PM by Otah