Arachnophobik/Frustrate logging off
I'm not gonna label all of my friends to thank, you know who you are :) but I would just like to say why I am leaving and deleting AL and Line and all al communities I have been a part of.
2 months ago I have been diagnosed with a disease I will not share for those who are sensitive about it. I was given 2 months to live, I went through depression, anxiety and my life and way of thinking went to a downward spiral. I never got to love life, and now that I have been given a deadline to do everything I want, I suddenly feel like I wasted a lot of years on being nothing. I didn't wanna give up, specially when I met a new friend, I wanted to live longer, so I worked out every single day since last month. But day by day I have grown weaker and weaker, cant even find the energy to eat.. it went from 10 hours of not eating, to 16, and now to 21.. I have been getting thinner and thinner, my family has been trying to make me feel happy by taking me out of town and places. But now I must accept the fact I will have to go soon, and before I do I just wanted you guys to know that you have been a very big part of my life, and even tho I wasted a lot of years, every second I spent with you guys are worth it.. goodbye everyone, see you on the other side..
Now if you read all that message above then good, I got your attention. No I am not dying, and yes I had fun making you feel sorry. Anyways for those of my friends who may have noticed I haven't been on much, lets just say I haven't quitted but I will log on from time to time to check up on you guys and chat. As for grinding, pvp, I just don't see the point anymore. I think most of the people tht left the game will get my point when I say there just comes a certain period in life that you realize you just cant lay in bed 4-6 hours at a time trying to grind the same maps for virtual loot anymore. A few months ago I came back from my hiatus and tried to aim for tdm lb, I was doing well until it hit me. Why am I doing this? For a virtual banner? For my name to be in a leaderboard barely anyone reads after the first 10 names? To gain virtual respect from people that don't even know what kind of person I really am? Its not even worth it imo. I get up and think I should be doing something else other than lie in bed for hours grinding a repetitive map. No point in trying to prove ur the best pvp player either because it takes very small amount of skills to succeed, most of it is gear and luck and ping really. And don't get me wrong, I tried, I tried getting my motivation back, but I just cant. Now I literally log in just to chat with anyone even wants to. I just see no point anymore. For 3 years, al has been my escape from reality, now I say "no more hiding". Life isn't so bad once u get used to it. I don't regret every second I spent in this game, meeting new ppl and making friends, but I will regret forcing myself to play, losing my life again. Accomplishments in this game is something I will not be able to take with me now that I left, but I will always have the friends I met in game forever :) My last suggestion for this game wud be to have a new kind of pvp, a paid one, where ppl cud pay a certain amount to play, have random teams, and if they win, they get the gold; just a new way to get gold. Anyways, I will be on from time to time, just don't expect progress. For all my al friends who want to talk, you know where to find me ;) luv yall, cya around.
