The winner is chickenman135
Btw don't pm me stuff if u have complaints plz
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The winner is chickenman135
Btw don't pm me stuff if u have complaints plz
Knockador wins
Oh, lel.
So a man walks into sits down and orders a drink. Out of his coat pocket jumps out a 9 inch tall man who runs across the bar top and starts playing the piano. The bartender goes "wow that's amazing where did you find that guy?" The man goes "I found a genie lamp outside that grants wishes." Excited the bartender rushes outside and sure enough finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out promising to grant him any wish. The bartender calls out " I wish for a million bucks!". Out of nowhere suddenly a million ducks begin to appear. Angry the bartender goes back inside and tells the man "your Genie gave me a million ducks!" The man replies "Yeah?? And you think I really wanted a 9 inch pianist?"
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Are we allowed to do more then one?
So there's a mother and a son.
we'll they're walking out and go on a bus. The driver says no animals allowed on the bus directly looking at the child. The woman replies with THATS MY CHILD! The bus driver tells her to seat in the back row she does this but stubbornly. However she complains and says "The Driver Just insulted me! " the man says " go up there and tell him off. Go ahead I'll hold your monkey for you".
HEHEHEHEHE
Oh btw nigahiga-Christmas ninja best video ever cracks me up
How post vids?
:D
Decided to make a funny entry based on your current feelings of the game. Hope you "connect" :p
http://youtu.be/iTWuZav-elY
Makes me ltmq :D
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" :D
Lmao.
Two mothers are out in the yard when one stands up. She seems to be breathing and her eyes aren't glazed. The other girl doesn't whip out her phone and does not call the emergency services. She does not gasp, "My enemy is alive! What can I not do?" The person that's not an operator says "Don't calm down! I cannot help! Second, let's make sure she's alive." There is not a silence, then a gun shot is not heard. Back on the phone that she did not call, the girl says "Not okay! Now not what?"
One day in school we took all our chairs outside in the woods next to my school before out teacher came, when he came in class and looked outer the windows to see all the chairs in the woods, he asked wtf is up with us... we said we want to have a tree nursery.
One day in my chemistry class the door suddenly opened and a banana peel was thrown at my teacher.
We spent many art lessons talking with our teacher whether he should by an Xbox360 or PS3 and after listening closely to our console war he ended up buying both.
Ariana grande is so hawt sts removed rhinos,foxes,mages,bears,birds that she is the only toon.
What has two grey legs and two brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhoea!! xD
IGN: Creatorofqwerty
This still goin on or Wat?
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him?"
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend isn't breathing! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?
IGN - Giantnoter
Look at this guy, lol !
It was mine I posted it first. :D
Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.
Back for moar! This is a blonde joke. Don't take it too seriously.
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 24."
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rFjIGhyEl64
EFM: Are you afk?
Me: yes
EFM was bragging to other forum members one day, "you know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I guarantee I know them."
Tired of his boasting, Apollo calls his bluff, "okay EFM, how about Arnold Schwarzenegger"?
"Sure, why not, Arnold and I are old friends. I can prove it"
So, EFM and Apollo flew to Hollywood and knocked on Arnold Schwarzenegger's door. Sure enough, Arnold Schwarzenegger opens the door and shouts "EFM! Great to see you again! You and your friend, come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Apollo was still skeptical.
After they left Schwarzenegger's house, he tells EFM that he thinks EFM's knowing Schwarzenegger was just pure luck. "Well, name anyone alse", EFM responds. "President Obama", Apollo retorts quickly. "Yes", EFM says, "Let's fly to Washington DC to meet him". And off they go. At the White house, President Obama spots EFM on tour and motions him and Apollo over saying "EFM! What a surprise! I was just on my way to very important meeting, but you and your friend come on and we'll have a cup of coffee and catch up".
Apollo is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they left the White house, he expresses his doubts to EFM, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope", Apollo replies. "Sure!", says EFM, "I've known Pope for a long time".
So off they fly to Rome. EFM and Apollo are assembled in the masses in the Vatican Square when EFM says, "this will never work, I can't find Pope among all these tourists. I know the guards, so let me go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope" and disappears in the crowd.
Half hour later, EFM emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time EFM returns, he finds out Apollo has had an heart attack and is surrounded with paramedics. Working his way to Apollo's side, EFM asks him, "What happened?" Apollo looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony. And then the man next to me said, "Who the **** is that man on the balcony with EFM?".
LOL how can I tag Apollo to see this.
When I was seventeen, I walked into the jungle. And by twenty-one, I walked out. And by God, I was rich!
Once i was in the library and i really needed to fart, so i tried to make it as silent as possible but when i farted it was super loud
One night a family went out to eat, the daughter who was 16 stayed home with her dog. After the family left to eat she turned on the alarms and went to her room. She jumped on the bed and started using her phone. One of her hands were hanging of the bed and then she felt something lick her hand she assumed it was the dog. Later, she heard dripping noises. She went to check the bathroom but the sink wasn't on. She thought it would eventually go away, She then went back to her room and jumped on the bed and used her phone again. She heard the noise again, this time from the closet. She got up opened the closet .... There.. the dog hanging from its neck dripping blood and on the dog there a note that read : Humans can lick too.
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One "Sunday" a family were doing their normal things. The dad was watching TV, the mom was cooking, the daughters were playing in their room, the son went to the "mail", and the grandma was knitting. They eventually find the grandma dead... Who was it...?
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Final one > What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
IGN: Darkerlegends
Q: Why did the clown go to the hospital?
A: Cause he was feelin' kinda funny!
Q: Hey bill, did you hear about the fire at the circus?
A: YA! IT WAS IN TENTS
Lamest jokes evar, but i can't stop laughing.