Epic Rap Battles of Arlor! WINNERS!
1st Place: DogGoesWoof for Inan'Hesh -vs- Jarl
DogGoesWoof's rap will be turned into a YouTube video that will be released later this month! Congrats!!
Inan'Hesh
Greetings peasant, I hope you like gold
Because if greed doesn't kill you, these words will leave you cold
I'm a formidable opponent, both normal and elite
While you are merely a roadblock, who always faces defeat
I give players valkin, achievements and all
While you get one-shotted, on a player's way to Stahl
Jarl
Hmm, you have good rhymes, for someone who rarely speaks
Are you getting mad, like you do when you are weak?
You give up to players, when your health bar is low
Surrendering is for cowards, but the brainless don't know
I'm a friend to all players, I'm farmed daily for crates
What are you for, well nobody is your mate
Inan'hesh (enraged)
That is it mortal being, you've had enough jokes
Let's put an end, to the tales and the hoax
I am a part of, the mythic armor quest
No player can receive it, without passing my test
7 minutes is all it takes, before I enrage
You don't get that luxury, and my victory cannot be disengaged
Jarl
That's no problem, I'll just remake the map
I'll get my buddies, and give you a nice slap
Your rhymes have shown me, that you're no match
Come to Brackenridge, meet me next patch
Come out of that tower, and that chair you slouch at
Face true defeat, and reward me that bat
2nd Place: Madnex for Rendtail -vs- Alargan
Rendtail
Rejoice inferior reptile, your master has finally arrived
To show you how to freestyle, thy pride shall be deprived
My fiery breath incinerates, at sun's surface degrees
Yours doesn't even approach these rates, go eat your pedigree
You're weak, got swapped with me as final boss and so now
Feeling a little cold? here - step in my magma geyser sauna
Alargan
Alright let's go on, but first you have some truths to face
You're a dragon? More like a disgrace to the whole race
How do you even qualify, you don't possess wings nor tail
Even your name's playing a joke at you, "master" Rend-fail
Idly sitting in the edge of a cliff, hanging all day
What if I Sparta-kick you back in the abyss, what will you say?
Rendtail
Ha, insolent fool, your punny insults make me laugh
I'll one-shot your HP to null, you think that'll be enough?
Your best attack is that you suck, literally and metaphorically
But you've just ran out of luck, punk, and you'll be punished accordingly
Just look at your appeal, it screams "I am a LOTR rip-off!"
Now how does that make you feel, you little magma glowing show off?
Alargan
Think you can beat me? Before the fight starts I've already won
It's just hilarious, rage mode? you're the only final boss without one!
You're in a pinch, how do you even expect to catch me?
You can't move an inch, your little rocks can barely scratch me
I'll come crushing down your precious eggs, leaving your nest in shatters
So better get on your knees and beg, size ain't the only thing that matters
Rendtail
Infuriating foolish youth, I'm going to erupt like a volcano
When I am done with you, your remains will be labeled Jon Doe
Even when you move, you lag behind and follow heroes around
Your inability proved, end up hitting nothing but the ground
Your tail whips fail, and you're not even immune to stun
Like a dog chasing it's tail, you end up dying like one
3rd Place: BigBoyBlue for Arachna -vs- Tribal Abomination
Arachna
Tribal Abomination, what a fitting name
One eyed, ugly freak, easiest boss in the game
Drop totems nobody wants, get some new wares
If you did your darn job nobody would enter my lair
Tribal Abomination
You say I'm easy? You just a whinna
One hit warriors, drop their health bar to China
Poison pools, cocoons, yet you can't kill a smurf
I was such a deadly foe my red zone got nerfed
Arachna
You're windup take 3 seconds, which in AL is a year
I hear you're telling Lord Rendtail you're jealous of my gear
Getting lonely in that map, time for an epiphany?
Trade your club in for a harp and start up a symphony
Maybe players would finally come and see your ugly face
Although I doubt you have rhythm nothing but a disgrace
Tribal Abomination
The reason players come to you is the ease of battle
Now head back to Mommy in Rooks Hideout, don't forget your baby rattle
If you dare return to Tindrin stop by and try me
I'll rip off all of your legs, no longer a spidey
Leave you there immobile waiting for death
I think I've said enough, not wasting any more breath
