Post your favorite joke...consider your audience please and not get too risque
Best Pocket Legends themed joke gets a Conquerors Saintly Shield(Pink)
Time frame: 24 hours from now I'll pick the best, or vote for your favorites and I'll consider choosing that person instead
Off topic jokes can be posted too but will not apply to contest
So I'm going to go out clubbing tonight, get drunk and pick up some hot chicks.
LOL Jk, I play Pocket Legends.
Yay A Joke Forum and its also a contest :)
This is a awesome contest idea. I'll try to think of a joke.
Pickup lines is a good idea too lol
Hey baby, I've got a lvl 35 mage in my pocket :)
Stop post-hording you pansys.
Show us your comedy genius right now!
Hey baby. Mines a 35.
;)
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship‚ holding her hat on tightly so that it wouldn't blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me‚ madam. I do not intend to be forward‚ but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes‚ I know‚" said the lady‚ "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."
"But‚ madam‚ you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down‚ then back up at the man and replied‚ "Sir‚ anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
(can you copy jokes?)
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more 'special'."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.
Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account," he said.
"I know," said the old man, "But let me tell you about my weekend!
hahahahahaha =DQuote:
Originally Posted by dizko
two old ladies are smoking outside of their retirement home, as that is the only place they are allowed to smoke there. suddenly it starts raining, and one of the ladies whips out a condom to protect her cigarette.
"where'd you get that?" asked the other lady
"you can get them at any pharmacy or gas station," replied the lady. "i use them to protect my cigs in the rain."
The next day the old lady when to a pharmacy to buy some condoms. Being a little lost, she asked the man at the counter where she could find one.
"where can i find condoms?" asked the lady.
"what kind are you looking for?" replied the man at the counter.
"it doesnt matter what kind or anything, just as long as it can fit at camel!" replied the old lady.
What does the mushroom say to the other mushroom?
Your a fun guy!
A Bear and a bird are having a drink.
The Bear says to the bird, "How do you keep your marriage fresh? You and the missus look really happy."
The Bird says, "No secret. I'm doing it right now."
The Bear says, "What?"
"Drinking," the bird says,"Until this picture of Frogmar turns into an Enchantress..."
I'll be here until 1.2 folks... ;)
Ahahahahhahahaha. Man that was perfect.Quote:
Originally Posted by Endless
Hurry the **** Apple!Quote:
Originally Posted by Endless
;) Lol jk, liked it.
Getting a pink is like peeing yourself... Everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling it brings.
bunch of old jokes...i love this one
Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Janice, who created the universe?" When Janice didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good" and Janice fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Janice, "Who is our Lord and Saviour." But, Janice didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good," and Janice fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Janice jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your ***!"
... the teacher fainted!
lol bacon, your the front runner
Y did the rooster cross the road?
To proove he wasnt a chicken
What cake do they give u in heaven?
A angel fruit cake
Three enchantresses were in towne talking about their husbands' love making performance. The first enchantress says ''My husband is a dexterous archer. He really knows how to use his body and how to sweet talk me. I like that.''
The second one says, ''My husband is a warrior. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. That really gets me going.''
The third woman just shakes her head and says, ''My husband works for Apple. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it.''
Last night my friends asked if i wanted to go hit the town. I said no, i got some studying to do. The next morning i got a text from them describing how they found this club with alot of hot slutty girls, they continued this text with a photo of 20 beautiful girls sleeping in there room with one word in the text "Pwned." You want to know what i was studying? The app store, awaiting the pocket legends update 1.2 to come out. Genius, arent i? FML
Hahahaha Dizko your last one was great!!
No love for me?Quote:
Originally Posted by TheBaconKing
I love you.Quote:
Originally Posted by arbyssauce
We all love you
Dizko if i was on your server, we would make bear-falcon babiesQuote:
Originally Posted by Dizko
In soviet russia, sandwich makes woman!
Aww...thats....too bad.Quote:
Originally Posted by arbyssauce
A guy enters a bar carrying a bear. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this bear's mouth and place my genitals inside. The bear will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the bear's mouth. The bear closes its mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the bear on the top of its head. The bear opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
Lol!
Very nice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ_OhPXUJ2M THATS ME !!!!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
In Soviet Russia, warriors are good... :p
In soviet russia, rebels liveQuote:
Originally Posted by Rebel
A man in a punishment center must spend a long time in one of three rooms.
The first one has people standing up to their waist's in poo (i don't wanna break the rules here)
The man says, "No, show me the next room."
He is taken to the second room, where people are standing up to their necks in poo
The man says again, "No, show me the next room."
In the last room, people are standing in poo up to their knees, drinking coffee.
The man says happily, "I'll choose this one." He walks into the room, and pours himself a cup of coffee.
As the officer is leaving the room, she says, "Alright everyone, coffee break's over, back on your heads."
So two men are playing golf, when one asks the other what he does for a living. The guy says, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you", but the first man insists. So the second man says, "I'm an assassin, I kill people for money." The first guy just laughs, and so the second walks over to the golf cart and takes out his bag. From inside, he pulls out a case, opens it, and proceeds to assemble a sniper rifle. The first man is amazed. "Mind if I look through the scope?" he asks, and the assassin agrees.
The man looks through the high-focus scope and says, "Hey, I can see my house from here! And there's my wife in the window... and she's with another man!" He turns, furious, to the assassin and asks him what he charges. "$200 per shot", he says, so the first man says "I'd like to buy two shots. I want you to put one through her head, and another through his groin to teach him a lesson." So the assassin attaches his scope and looks through, and pauses. The first man says, "What are you waiting for?", to which the assassin responds, "Well, if you wait just a minute I can save you $200..."
There's a bear who shows up in a game where other warriors have gathered to hunt trolls. Only he shows up without a weapon.
The other warriors are very curious. "How you gonna get a troll without a weapon?" they ask.
"Do you have a shiv?"
"No," says the bear.
"Do you have a club?"
"No," says the bear.
"Don't you worry. I'm gonna get myself a troll. Just wait right here and see."
The bear leaves the room and disappears into the crypts for a few minutes.
Eventually he happens upon a troll and he kicks it to get it really angry. The troll starts to chase after the bear, so the bear starts running back towards the room.
Finally the warriors hear him running down the hall and yelling, "Open the door! Open the door!"
They open the door and the bear runs into the room and holds the door open behind him. To the surprise of the other warriors, an angry troll follows close behind, running into the room.
Then the bear slams the door shut, and says, "You skin that one. I'll go get another."
adapted from a joke I found online. ;)
How many mages does it take to heal a warrior?
Not enough.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get more dex.
Enchantresses only suck because they are females.
LOL True! JKQuote:
Originally Posted by Obliteration
What happens when you make an enchantress a bowtress?
They no longer suck.
Want to see my 35 pink copperhead?