Same concept guys from the previous contest I recently did, if you dont know then here:
For second place they would most likely get a mill
Dateline is Oct 25
Contest is officially done, winner is assault, please pm me in private message
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im a unicorn :3 meow
My entry:
The entries of the winners of the previous contest are funny
And yes for those who won can still participate in this, if they want to
When is the final day...
The final day would be oct 25
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the man passes gas and says, "seven points!".
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied "it's fart football."
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown! Tie score..."
After about five minutes the old man lets another one goes and says, "Aha, I'm ahead 14 to 7"
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on for the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, "What the hell was that?"
The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."
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My entry: I tried to commit suicide but I back out because it almost killed me.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Once apon a time, walking down the street their was 4 kids. The frist kids name was "Shuddap" the second "fvckin" the third "shlt" and the last kid was named "manners". Since the one kid "shlt" was overly obsessed with anything black he ran out onto the road to kiss the ground. He ended up kissing a big black truck. So now that "shlt" was grounded "fvckin" ran over to try help him up. "Shuddap" being the smartest of the four friends called the police, while manners watched dumbfounded.
"What's ur emergency sir" replied the police operator.
"My friend just got ran over by a car" replied "Shuddap"
"What's ur name sir? We got officers 10 minutes out" said the operator.
"Shuddap" replied shuddap
"Excuse me" said the operator
"Shuddap" replied shuddap
"Where your manners sir"! Replied the operator
"He is watching, while "fvckin" my other friend, who is trying to pick up "shlt", who is right in the middle of the road"
-ign vume
I have another funny story, can I win both 2nd and first lol
Oooooh I got one!!! I'm gonna win this contest as well hopefully!
One day, a father and his daughter are together. The father is putting the daughter to sleep. After the father leaves, he hears her saying her prayers. He hears her say, '' God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa. The father hears all of this and barges back into the room. He asks her, '' Why did you say the last part? '' The daughter replies, '' Because I needed to. '' The next day, grandpa dies. The father thinks, '' Is this just a coincidence?
That night he tucks her daughter into bed. He leaves the room to only hear her prayers again. He hears, '' Bless mommy and daddy, rest in peace grandma. '' The father now is thinking, '' Holy ****, my daughter can see into the future? '' The next day, grandma dies. A week later nothing happens, but the night before Sunday, he is tucking his daughter into bed once more. He leaves and listens for any more prayers. Sure enough, there is another prayer. He hears, '' Bless you mommy, rest in peace daddy. '' The father starts panicking and saying, '' Holy ****! I'm going to die tomorrow! '' The following start of the next day consisted the father being alert all the time, checking the clock, looking around the room, etc. He goes to work to do the same things, being alert, all of that. He looks at the clock again 3 hours later. It's past midnight. The father says, '' How is this possible? I should be dead! '' He goes home and finds his wife on the couch with a scared look on her face. She asks, '' What took you so long!? '' The father says, '' Listen honey, today I haven't had the best of days. '' Then as soon as he is about to tell what happened, she bursts out, '' I saw the mailman die yesterday! ''
Woo. My fingers are tired from all that punctuation mostly...
IGN: Littlemangoby
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
IGN: Littlemangoby
Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-f***ing-believable!"
IGN: Littlemangoby
Woah.
After seeing all this I decided to write a book.... Ten Reasons Why Groaning Should Win
So I'm going to skip all the parts that make a book good like plot, rising action, suspense, and wit.
10. Groaning rhymes with moaning. At first I thought that moaning was like bat and only had 50 words of compatible rhyming. Then Groaning showed me the path to light. I realized that groaning was like orange and had 100 too many words that rhymed with it! Groaning just enlightens people like *that*!
9. She embraces death. Very few times do you not not not not not not not not get the chance to kill Groaning. Just go with the flow and become pro like Groaning! You know what they say, "If you can't beat them join em." (GL Groaning Stepy and I dont play PL anymore)
8. After you know Groaning for a while you realize one important thing. That she is actually... a he. Shocking Right? I know I was too.
7. I seriously couldn't believe that groaning was a he. No seriously. (Actually no not seriously)
6. Groaning aces Rorschach tests.... in his sleep. I mean I don't know this for sure but who said books have to be factual.
End Part 1
Goby you just copied and pasted....
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, "Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future." "I still don't get it" responded the Little Johnny. "Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better," said the dad. "Okay then...good night" said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middleof the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, buthis dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized somethingand thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, andthe future is full of ****!"
The first two are hilarious but sadly were not made by me. This one though was given to me by a friend, i'm sure you've heard though.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
I would call you food, but I don't eat garbage( if u PvP you will think this is funny)
When ur playing PL and u gotta go poop but ur not willing to put the game down on the toilet you be doing push push squeeze combos
So apparently all the funny jokes I'm getting is being plagiarized not gonna name anyone but you know who you are
Jack strode into ‘John’s Stable’ looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said John, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream heyhey the way to get him to go is to scream Thank God.
Jim nodded his head, “fine with me, can I take him for a test run?”
Jim was having the time of his life this horse sure could run he thought to himself. Jim was speeding down the dirt road when he suddenly saw a cliff up ahead “stop!” screamed Jim, but the horse kept on going. No matter how much he tried he could not remember the words to get it to stop. “yoyo” screamed Jim but the horse just kept on speeding ahead. It was 5 feet from the cliff when Jim suddenly remembered “heyhey!” Jim screamed. The horse skidded to a halt just 1 inch from the cliff.
Jim could not believe his good fortune, he looked up to the sky, raise his hands in the air, breathed a deep sigh of relief and said with conviction “Thank God.”
READ THE LAST BIT OF THE FIRST PARAGRAPH AFTER ;)
IGN:jeuiskeh
Ya know technically no joke can really be created and will be found online SOMEWHERE in a sense it's not plagerization if cited from original source, but even then the orginal source is the person who created the joke and with all the passing around of information on the internet; things such as plagerization over [Jokes] is something you can't really call. I can make up a joke, but i'm sure someone has said before so should I track down the first person to say it and cite? No such thing as an original joke these days sadly considering. Its more so about finding a GOOD joke. Get it?
hmm i wonder why my super hero name is Groan the He? and Leila is Leila the She? ikr ppl think im a she (myb becuz she calls me mom) and leila is a he >_<
and hey is that book on amazon? i would totally buy a copy
The Second Part will be bundled up with the release of the winners of this Contest.
plagiarism
the practice of taking someone else's work or ideas and passing them off as one's own.
synonyms: copying, infringement of copyright, piracy, theft, stealing; informalcribbing
"accusations of plagiarism"
Finding it off the internet isn't stealing or passing as our own jokes unless we say I created this joke. Even if it did count it would still be impossible to cite who first said the joke. Even if we SOMEHOW make a joke no one has said before , im sure someone has said before.
If I was to copy an article written on Zara Nelsova by the woman herself then said I wrote it. It would be plagiarism. Basically 9 times outta 10 if its not copyrighted its not really plagiarized.
Hey mine was original.
irandoms is original :D
Entry 1 -
Why is Groaning a good spy?
Because he always has his eyes peeled for trouble
(It's a potato joke, because groan is a potato).
So I should Cite a joke thats on hundred of different websites. I guess every single person whose posted a joke anywhere or written anything even the words your reading now is wrong since they haven't cited it. Call me an idiot, but stealing music lyrics and pasting them as my own is one thing but a joke off the internet? I must be the biggest idiot then anytime i've ever written anything as such. I'll remember to cite EVERYTHING since apparently NO MATTER how SMALL and COMMON even if its a JOKE.(My sarcasm is horrible._.)
I got a joke just created ^^(I'm sure some one has said before)
What day is national @ss whooping day?
Report Card Day