Finding Love in the most unexpected places
Hey all Chivalries here but most of AL knows me by my first name (Dale),
You never expect going into a game making new friends, close friends and even that one friend that leads to something more. I've been around
SpacetimeStudios games over 6 years now. Had i know that in those 6 years id have made some of the best friends a person can ask for. With successful friendships there are always the failed friendships. I've had my fair share
I think it may have something to do with vulnerability, actually. I don’t think there is anything as universally humanizing as seeing someone right after they’ve really had their heart broken. They aren’t the prideful, strong people they always said they’d be. They’re desperate. They’re exhausted because every option has been exhausted and there’s nothing left for them to do than to get on their metaphorical knees with someone and just lay it on the line. Because we think this will change their minds. We think showing them how we care about them enough to let them bring us to rock bottom will make them love us again. It won’t. They won’t. But we always think so anyway.
So in the days, weeks, months and years after that you spend putting yourself back together, almost using the idea of revenge as fuel for your proverbial fire to find great things for yourself, you realize that there’s still something missing. You’ll have all you ever wanted and nobody to call at the end of the day and tell it to. No warm hand to hold when you’re a little unsure and nobody to tell you that no matter what happens, they’ll stay. You realize that you didn’t choose yourself, you chose anger to combat lost love. And that won’t ever work out in your favor.
And so I think this is where the work of choosing comes in. Love will sprinkle itself into your life in little opportune tidbits that are most often completely inopportune and you’ll have to choose whether or not you’re willing to sacrifice that pride wall you spent all this time building.
I don’t think love is always a huge, cataclysmal emotional event. I think sometimes it sits in front of you for a very long time until you glance over and say, oh, there you are. I don’t think it’s your saving grace. I think it’s the hand that you hold while you save yourself. I don’t think it’s someone who sweeps you off your feet. I think it’s someone who stays right beside you and lets you walk on your own. I don’t think it’s always a blazing but temporary insanity of racing hearts and hormones. I think that’s the love that changes us. The love that should stay with us is the calm, deep, thorough knowing that you want to be with someone despite logical objections. And what may be even more important than anything is that I think you find your own love at the very edges of where other people’s love pushes you.
And the problem is thinking it all has to happen at once. We just place so much expectation on what love has to mean that we run away from it before it even has the chance to blossom. Change happens at the level of gesture and love is often not a fire inside us but a warmth that grows. This kind of love means intimately someone. It may take time to build. It will take real commitment. It always requires that first gesture. It takes one phone call, one little tiny 10 second bit of courage and risk that you’ll be completely shut down. It requires you taking one step even when you’re uncertain.
So when the question is how do I find and choose love again, I think the answer is that it’s nothing to be found, it’s there, and choosing it is just very gently reaching out and holding its hand. It’s the most unexpected place and it’s the most overlooked. It requires you to understand that love is far more, far greater and far more poignant than a failed relationship or two, if not romance as a whole. And it requires you to not force it, not lament the certainty of it’s existence and not complain that it isn’t grandeur enough. It’s letting the very small whispers inside you become full fledged symphonies and never worrying that your song isn’t what someone else wants to hear. That’s what the real gesture is, and I hope you do choose to make it.
With all of that being said above, i found someone in a unsuspected place, may have guessed it (Arcane Legends). Seems to good to be true? It is actually not
She was with someone as was i, however i was having problems and i turned to a few close nit guild members for guidance and assistance. I had turned to her also for advice and she gave me the absolute best advice i could have asked for as well as telling me that ever since i messaged her "Hey how are you doing today" that sparked something inside of her and in that moment that i was having trouble something had told her to speak up and tell me that she has liked me since that day.
She was with someone in game so i respected their relationship and i didn't want to compromise anything. As she told me at the time i was with someone and she respected that and didn't want to compromise anything. Well my troubles pushed me to her and she told me how she felt, from that day forward I've never looked back on my decision to tell her how i felt about her as well. We talked on the phone almost 4-6 hours a day, playing online almost everyday, have tons in common, i saved my nickels and dimes, traveled over 900 miles to meet her. Absolutely worth every moment, When your heart says "Take the leap" TAKE IT!!! One thing led to another and here i am writing this telling you all that love comes to us in the most unsuspecting ways or as my mom tells me "Love will find you when you least expect it", She was right........
I have a passion for Video games, i'm not a pub crawler or a online dating fanatic and have my fair share of bad past relationships but if it had not been for being at the right place at the right time, with the right group of people, i'd had not found the love of my life.
With everything above being said, Love is a true feeling, can be false love, can be true love, you will know when it comes to you.
I found mine
you'll find yours.
~Dale (AKA Chivalries)
