Hey Explorers

Tldr: I’ve been worried about a zombie apocalypse lately. So I take you inside my doomsday bunker and tell you my plans for if things start to go south.

Plane and House Tour

Itszea was naughty one year and had an encounter with an unscrupulous entity. Seeing they had a few things in common, Krampus told her about the old days when man first built flying machines.

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Itszea and her assistants, Zeabegrah and Daogole (that's me), sketched their plans out.

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They constructed their best model. See it by typing "/v itszea".

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A sharknado delayed our initial test flight.

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They partied in the fashion district while waiting for the twister to subside.

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This raises the question: can a 300mph wind gust really lift a one ton shark with organized precision? The whole thing seems foolish and absurd.

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Upon further investigation, this outlandish weather was actually a prank by none other than King Erik himself!

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A king can control these things, you see. It is the highest piece of furniture in the game. He did it through a gli-magic. He did it through magic. See by typing “/v zeabegrah”.

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Buckle up buckaroo. I will take you across town.

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This is my secret lair. All are welcome (except witches), although I do live in a guildhall.

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So I have this underground hideout.

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Make yourself at home while I take this brief nap. You’re welcome to see my dream too.

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...In lucid dreaming, one can take advantage of opportunities that no longer exist. Here, I got in early before the tulip bubble and got rich. Fantastic!

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Unfortunately, I had a heart attack when the market crashed.

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I sailed through rough seas on a Viking ship. Is that the song of a siren which lures wary sailors to their death? Alas, it's just my alarm clock...

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I am awake now. Anyway, this is my unicorn. One of the former owners got married on this very horse but faced financial problems. Now he wants to buy her back. I am supposed to arrange for the pickup this weekend.

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I have been in the lab distilling unicorn blood with hopes of extending my life. So far, this has only resulted in a stroke to the right side of my body. Thankfully, I'm left handed. You can see the stable by typing ”/v imthezea”.

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Well, that’s it for my tour. I tried to buy a Leprechaun Pendant, but she switched it to a Lunar Pendant at the last second. I’m still beautiful.

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Secret to Success (and Maybe World Peace)

Now I'm going to write about some gossip I overheardi. Mostly it's relating to super hard core mode. If you die in game, you also die in real life. I have to test it out during my next lucid dreaming session. In the event that leads to my death, I would like to leave the unicorn to first come first serve. The man was calling my personal cell about 10 times when I was in the middle of watching an arena match. I only answered it because I thought it was an emergency. I will probably just kill the unicorn and then act like I am not home when he comes by. I don't have the heart to say no to the sale. Conversely, I am on the precipice of achieving biological immortality. I think I can do it if I just get a few more pints of blood. I am a sorcerer after all.

Did you know there is a real life unicorn they found in the jungle? I went to the jungle once. It was out in the tropics. There was a barge you used to cross the river. It was on the way to a Mayan pyramid. They don't let you climb the ones in Egypt really, so I thought going to the top of that one was pretty cool. At night time you could hear the monkeys howling in the trees. I took a couple of pills to prevent malaria beforehand. It's nice that we have that kind of thing today. If our ancestors had access to modern medicine, imagine how many lives that would have saved.

Anyway, I got to go cure this full body sunburn. I used to be bright and glorious, pale as the sun. But I had a midlife crisis where I overused the tanning bed. I have an addiction to health and manna potions. The medicine man says if I smell nice flowers then I will be cured. But nobody sells that junk. Perhaps there is a shrubber in the marketplace who can attend to my needs. Does anyone know where I might purchase one shrubbery, preferably filled with aromatic daisies? He also danced in circles around me. That helped a little.

In spite of these problems my health has risen by 3000 percent in a few minutes of gameplay. I am one of the finest specimens of mental health that has ever lived though. I hope that someone puts my brain in a museum one day with a sign that says to look at this brain and that it was never depressed. I don’t get sad when thinking about Uller. I get more dangerous.

That is another reason I am red. By the way, Villi did just as much heroics, but almost no one knows where his gravesite is. The third and final reason I am red is that a wise person once told me if red touches black, okay jack. Red touches yellow, kill a fellow. I am black on the inside, since there is no light. What’s up homie?

My top animals this year were the Easter Bunny, Bugs Bunny, and the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog. Many dragons have been slain but live on in our hearts. My top picks are Godzilla, Smaug, and Shenron.

And this is Stephen Hawking headed to Epstein island:

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The key to success is developers, developers, developers. developers, developers. Developers, developers, developers. developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers! Yes!

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Did I mention I have a great relationship with the blacks?

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