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Thread: Girl trouble

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    Default Girl trouble

    So first off let me introduce myself. I am a 14 year old boy who has just begun high school and has also begun to experiment with relationships. I chose to talk about this on the spacetime forum because I've been around here for quite a while and know that there are some very intellectual people here who generally are supportive no matter the situation, now let's get to it. Recently I began doing more activities at school with the rest of my friends and have interacted with more of their friends. In all these activities such as lunch, clubs, after school events etc., there was a girl who was quite charming yet I never saw us as being together because it felt rather typical for me to be attracted to a girl as nice and charming as she was. As we continued developing our friendship (she was far more in control than I knew) I really began to like this girl. Later on my friend told me that she blushed quite a lot at the mention of me and when I thought about it there were some very obvious hints that she was interested in me such as constantly touching me (playfully) and asking me if I liked certain girls if I had brought them up in conversation or seemed to acknowledge them. This continued for about 2 weeks as we talked more and more and developed a stronger friendship. Before I continue let me describe one of the first problems. For years now I've been known to not be very expressive of my emotions, neither vocally or facially. So pretty much whenever she'd do something sort of romantic such as when walking her to class I had to stop half way walking her to her class to go to mine which was on the other side of the campus. I'm sure she would've understood that part but what I'm sure majorly disappointed her was that I didn't hug her or do anything friendly of the sort, I gave her a weak and awkward wave goodbye. I had been pretty much giving her negative cues about how I felt about her while inside cared a lot for her. Then on the same day after school, I decided it was time that I went ahead and let her know how I felt and explain it all to her. Woke up especially confident and excited (today). I had planned on meeting her as soon as I got to school and telling her then but couldn't find her and went to class with thoughts of her. These thoughts of her went on for 3 painfully long and dull class periods until my next chance to see her would be, lunch. When we met up at our table with others she was her usual fun loving self the whole while although I felt that she was somewhat distant, not giving me as much attention as she'd accustomed me to. I was getting ready to figure out how I'd get her
    alone so I could confess to her my love when my friend said "so how's your new boyfriend *girlsname*?" at this I was paralyzed and her a bit uneasy at the mentioning. Then another friend restated the question but saying the guys name. At this I was blatantly baffled, making no attempt to conceal my amusement. This guy was a small fellow (no offense to the short guys it's just that I distinctly remember her mentioning that she likes tall guys) who I'd never even seen her talk to (granted I met her 4 weeks ago) this guy was no lady killer, yet somehow he and her got into a relationship overnight. The other kind of picked up on this as well and began teasing her. She didn't ha e much of anything to say on the matter and kind of sat uncomfortably (next to me). sounds a bit fishy right? I concluded that she had gotten together with him to make me jealous as again, I had not yet openly expressed mutual feelings for her. My first reaction was to angrily confront her demanding an explanation, through further thought I decided that his was the worst possible thing to do. I would see her again in 40 minutes, after a class period. In this class period she sits next to me and this is where most of our socializing has taken place. In this class period today I was a rock, completely ignoring any of her attempts to interact in a playful way with me, saying "stop" firmly when she poked me and not paying much attention to her in the group conversations. She acted the same as usual in this class except a bit down and upset probably because I was ignoring her. After all this and considering that I am largely to blame for it all (for being so non expressing of my emotions and taking things too slow) I've come up with two possible solutions and what I want to hear is which one you guys think is better. Some reasoning on your opinion would be nice.

    Hint:Both of these are meant to be conflicting responses

    Solution 1: Let her self destruct in all her clumsy attempts to attract me and give her none of my attention. How can I get together with her if she feels the need to use another to get my attention? I would probably look like a complete pawn if from one week to the next she was going out with me and not the other kid.

    Solution 2: come clean about my feelings and let her know how I feel about her (at this point I think she has no idea how much I cared for her) and try and explain to her why I was so closed up about how I felt about her, after all everyone deserves second chances right?

    Note: Most of my conclusions about this situation are based purely on strong evidence of the situation and have been in no way confirmed! It is possible (yet highly unlikely) that ive completely misassesed the situation.
    Last edited by 5846; 09-06-2013 at 02:41 PM.

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    TL;DR plox

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    One more thing I'd Like advice on, depending on what I decide after seeing this thread, how should I contact her? Through text messages or in person? On one hand, contacting her in person may have a larger impact on her while on the other if I wait until I can see her (monday) it's possible shes couldve developed completely new outlooks and decided she's over me while if I text her I can tell her right away.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mysticaldream View Post
    TL;DR plox
    Summary: she's dating some loser to make this loser jealous.
    Last edited by 5846; 09-06-2013 at 02:55 PM.

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    Tell her how you feel in person man. That's the one thing I hate about technology, it's antisocial. You can't express your emotions well enough in a text. Go up to her, tell her how you feel about her, and just wait to see what her decision is. You're 14, so I don't think it'll amount to much in the future, but hey, you've got a lot more to fear in life than a pretty girl's rejection. Good luck :-)


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    Live for yourself. Don't rely on anybody else to make you happy. YOLO.

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    Thing is, I'm not sure what I should do about it, don't even want to be with her anymore but I don't want her to tear herself apart wondering. My conscience just can't help but make me feel entirely responsible for not doing things right. More thought has given me the plans to just forget about her and let her do her own thing.

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    No offense but you're 14 at 14 i was still playing in the grass, riding bikes with friends skateboarding and stuff with not a care in the world for girls. But um can't say much because met my girlfriend 2 and a half years ago and i'm 17 right now haha. But seriously don't worry about em! They're expensive!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by razerfingers View Post
    No offense but you're 14 at 14 i was still playing in the grass, riding bikes with friends skateboarding and stuff with not a care in the world for girls. But um can't say much because met my girlfriend 2 and a half years ago and i'm 17 right now haha. But seriously don't worry about em! They're expensive!!

    Sent using blood on a bathroom wall.
    Bam. Truth ^
    Girls will come and go at your age, there are a lot of fish in the sea

    When I was 14 I was madly inlove with this one chick, a year later, she moved, then meh. Played basketball and had fun, and met a new chick couple years later.

    The point is, if you really like someone, tell her, I should've done that with the girl I mentioned ^
    Lel. You Fanny.

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    If you're not interested in a relationship with her due to her clumsy attempts at making you jealous, you shouldn't confess any feelings for her. It will just confuse her.

    I think that you are too young to get into a serious relationship. Be friendly towards her...in other words, don't punish her for getting a boyfriend, but if you are sure she is with this guy strictly to make you jealous, I'd move along. People who play games suck. Also, I wouldn't be mean to her but if she continues to flirt, etc, maybe tell her that you'd like her to stop, as it makes you uncomfortable when she does this, due to the fact that she has a boyfriend.

    But, yeah, have fun and don't tie yourself down with one person at a young age. I did that when I was in high school and really have wondered what my life would be like if I hadn't started such a serious relationship so young.

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    And if that doesn't work go for the casual "does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"The next move is yours.
    Last edited by jcoultet; 09-08-2013 at 03:06 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pandamoni View Post
    If you're not interested in a relationship with her due to her clumsy attempts at making you jealous, you shouldn't confess any feelings for her. It will just confuse her.

    I think that you are too young to get into a serious relationship. Be friendly towards her...in other words, don't punish her for getting a boyfriend, but if you are sure she is with this guy strictly to make you jealous, I'd move along. People who play games suck. Also, I wouldn't be mean to her but if she continues to flirt, etc, maybe tell her that you'd like her to stop, as it makes you uncomfortable when she does this, due to the fact that she has a boyfriend.

    But, yeah, have fun and don't tie yourself down with one person at a young age. I did that when I was in high school and really have wondered what my life would be like if I hadn't started such a serious relationship so young.
    Lets face it, you probably would've been a stoner earlier than usual.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apollo View Post
    Lets face it, you probably would've been a stoner earlier than usual.
    Lol pffft I think I had already quit by 14

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    Thanks for responses, I'm not nearly as distressed as I was a few hours ago. I think the main reason it had such a large impact is because it all occurred in a rather long and painful second.

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    FRINEDDZONNNNEEEEDDD xD

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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodleleg View Post
    FRINEDDZONNNNEEEEDDD xD

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    Hey 5846, relationships can be tough going into highschool, and it can be a complicated time forming new relationships and making new friends. (Heck, I'm only 16).

    There are a few things I can tell you.

    For my first year of highschool, all the freshman girls (my "group" of girls) would always hang out with the sophomores. The girl I "dated" throughout the end of 8th grade and beginning of freshman year seemed like the most beautiful gear to me. Cheesy, right? But I know how you feel - it can be a tough thing as a freshman.

    My advice to you is to not be laid back, sitting around hoping she comes talking to you and asking you on a date. Unfortunately, this is obviously easier said than done. But I've regretted this throughout my first year of highschool because this girl really did make me happy. So I understand where you're coming from. I was friendzoned way too hard because I didn't have the balls to speak to her, haha.

    Also, keep joining new clubs and trying new things. The world is huge out there, and you're just beginning your experience into the adult world. Continue making new friends and expanding your relationships - you never know what will turn out. I am very fortunate for finding a key group of friends through soccer in high school, it truly feels like a family.

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    I'm like razer when he's 14.
    ADVENTURE, PLAYING AROUND FTW
    I don't have much to say about girls, they're just..meh..

    All for One, and One for All!
    The Brightest of Flames..cast the Darkest of Shadows..
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadowstar
    I'm like razer when he's 14.
    ADVENTURE, PLAYING AROUND FTW
    I don't have much to say about girls, they're just..meh..
    You at least think girls are pretty right

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    Hes shadowstar, he thinks anythings pretty
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