I have this idea for a new cartoon series. It would be patterned after the true-life experiences of Miner McGuirk, who I killed at least 100 times (which then he magically re-spawns, you know, Space Time Studios and the vulars, they work together, by giving us lousy equipment and slow updates). The name of the show would be "The Big Fat Miner."
Here's the theme song:
Who's the big Miner?
Miner McGuirk!
Who's the fat Miner?
Miner McGuirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk...
Kinda big, kinda strong,
Stupid as a log.
Each episode would be about an exciting true event that happened to Miner McGuirk. For example, here's the script for the episode "Miner McGuirk kills a noob"
It is 1630 hours, UC standards. Miner McGuirk is sleeping in his lair. Suddenly he hears a sound. His head snaps up. Somebody is coming! Time to swing into action! Miner McGuirk lumbers down the path, and then to his total shock, he finds: A commando! Whom he had not seen since 40 SECONDS AGO! YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!
Miner McGuirk: Yaaaarrrrr!
Noob Commando: Contact!
Now Miner McGuirk charges towards the commando. It is a slim chance he could beat him. He had only killed the commando for the past 3598762723899 consecutive times. But just in case, Miner McGuirk is ready.
Miner McGuirk: Grrrrrrr!
Can it possibly be? Yes! This is unbelievable! The noob is coming for him! Looks like he could finally kill him! YAAAAYYYY!
Noob Commando: Why won't you die?!?!?!?!?
Now that the commando had spent all his ammo in his rifle, Miner McGuirk realizes that, at this rate, it would take the noob a full 0.000001 second to reload. This is bad. He needs help. Miner McGuirk immediately charges forward and applies 561048297482317095 pounds of force to the noob.
Miner McGuirk: Haaarrr!
Noob Commando: *** no!
And now the noob is sent flying across the lair, Miner McGuirk is up, looking left, looking right. His finely honed senses absorbed every detail of the environment, looking for....Holy Smokes! There they are, the rocks, up on the ceiling! This is turning out to be an UNBELIEVABLE adventure!!!
Miner McGuirk: Ahhaaarrr!
Miner McGuirk is vaguely troubled. Some primitive version of a though is rattling around inside his tiny cerebral cortex, like peas in a can of peas. For he senses that there is some reason why the rocks are there. They want Miner McGuirk to do something. But what could it be? Before Miner McGuirk can think of an answer...he felt...is this possible! Yes! the noob is still ALIVE!!! Yikes! Full red alert!
Miner McGuirk: Grrrrrr.
Noob commando: c'mon stimpacks, work!
Miner McGuirk: Yaaarrr!
No questions about it. The evidence was clear. The rocks are there for a reason, that's right. And what's more, it's - this is so incredible - BLACK ROCKS! There are BLACK rocks! Right here in the mine!
Noob commando: DIE!
Miner McGuirk: AHAAARR!
Miner McGuirk is getting the gist of an idea. At first it seems profound. But the more he thinks about it, the more he thinks - hey, that's it! The idea is - get ready - Miner McGuirk is going to smash the ground and hurt himself with BLACK rocks! Right now! It's crazy, but it just might work!
Noob commando: Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! X_x
What was that? It was a sound! Definitely. A sound coming from below. Yes! No questions about it. This is unbelievable. It's the NOOB lying on the ground! YAAAAYYYY!
Noob commando: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....
Theme song singer: Miner McGuirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk...
Noob commando: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu -
Miner McGuirk: Yarrrk!
Bear in mind that this is only one episode. There are many other ones: "Miner McGuirk plays with squid-heads," "Miner McGuirk gets electrocuted and screams real loud for the next 184 minutes," etc. It would be the kind of show young kids could watch, mainly because there would be extremely little sex, thanks to an earlier episode, "Miner McGuirk has a situation."
Originally Posted by Solid Scorpion
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