Enchantress will rule PvP
There has been a lot of debate over the very important issue of who will rule PvP?
My name is Bodhii, the Enchantress Lord. Foe of the Crocs. 35 Archer, 35 Enchantress, 35 Warrior, and 25 Bowchantress
Often, these debates evolve into flame wars because one of the sides usually takes things too seriously.
First off: the pros of Enchantress:
1) More Damage. The monster is getting hit more. Our Accuracy isn't great, but neither is a Bears, and they do a-ok with a shiv.
2) Heal we can cure ourself no one else can
3) We look realy cool with our pins and voodoo dolls
Cons:
1) None, a Enchantress who melees correctly will be an effective addition to any type of PvP group.
I am going to compare my damage as a Enchantress. This post will be our journey together as we finally set things straight for those who wield magics by their will.
Alright, so here's my set up:
-Necromancers Elvan Helmet
-Mambozas Voodoo Fire Pin
-Dreamers Croc Scale Robe
-Copperheads Voodoo Doll
-uh, you get the point, I don't feel like typing this all out
My plan is to use Lightning then Icestorm followed up by Firestorm for the combo.
Kind of confusing, but I think I got it all set up right.
So, I'm logging into Pocket Legends...
AND @#%^!
no version 1.2!!
DAMN IT Apple!
Ugh, looks like I won't be able to compare this to a Shiv bear or a bayou archer. But no biggie, I got a Plan B.
So I go into my closet, and I pull out my Enchantress attire I made last week. I get my Dreamers Icebolt Staff that I made myself in woodworking class. My Enchantress attire is made from dyed squirrel fur from the little critters I cought from my backyard. I didn't have any dye, so I used Jello Mix and green colored glue and markers. Took me like 2 days to get it perfect, but god damn I look like a Gangsta Enchantress if there ever was one. I just wish I had this much Mambozas in-game. But doesn't matter, because this isn't a game anymore.
This time... it is for real.
So I'm thinking, how can I check my Enchantress's damage in the RL. I know a park nearby that I could perhaps find opponents to check my damage against. But who? The last time I did this I got arrested. Maybe I will find a bear. That'll show those elitist scum, when I kill a bear. And then I will skin to make me a Mambozas Robe. The ultimate victory.
So I'm going to the park on my bike, which I nicknamed after my friend Kingrichie. The problem is, it's my sister's bike and it's Pink. I once tried to spraypaint it black, but I did it in a closed space and @#%^ing passed out for 2 hours from the fumes.
I arrive at the park at around 4pm, staff in hand and bookbag on back. It is a saturday, so my curfew doesn't expire until at least another 4 hours. And that's all I'll need. So far so good
The first thing I become aware of, there is a lack of bears in this park. I search for a good 30 mins, even behind the bushes and stuff. Nothing. Ridiculous. Bodhii shouldn't have to deal with this. Bodhii has defeated all of the bosses in the swamps.
For another 30 minutes, I was hoping to encounter Crocs, Yetis, or Zombies, but no such luck. It was getting later and I'm starting to get worried. Will I be able to check my damage? Perhaps I should of just went home at this point. The update couldn't be much longer. But no, I'm going to beat them. I'm going to beat them and show them all. Nothing will get in the way of this.
It was this point, my adventurers took a sour turn. I'm afraid my fellow Wielders of magic, this will be a dark day in our history.
I was walking on a path when three youngsters, not much older than me, saw me. Their reaction to me at first was surprise. I guess I should not be offended, after all, it's not everyday you see a real-life Enchantress.
However, like all stupid morons, they fear what they can't understand, which is everything apparently. They chuckle a bit and decide that I would be their little joke for awhile. However, I had other plans in mind.
If can't find any bears or Archers, then so be it, I was going to defeat these underlings in battle. So says Bodhii, the Enchantress Lord.
"Hey, man, what the hell? Just what the hell are you wearing?" one of them says. This one has big white teeth, like a shark. Out of all three of them, he seems to be able to speak Human language the clearest. He is a the shortest, probably the weakest.
I'm a little annoyed, but I can't show it, not yet anyway. "For your information, I am wearing the robes that once belong to a great warrior who fell in the Great War. Some of the greatest craftersmen ever to see the sun spent their hard effort in these linens. You should show respect, for without them, our world would be lost".
At first, they are stunned. For a moment, I actually think I've gotten to them. But they erupt into loud, offensive laughter only a few seconds after. Stupid, stupid, stupid IDIOTS.
"WHAT THE @#%^?" one of them yells, this one the tallest and most ugliest of them all. Easily as strong as a croc, but probably is extra substible to magics. He is laughing so hard he is almost falling over. It's almost time.
Their laughter must be some kind of idiot beacon, because a crowd is being to form. I could be in trouble, that is, if I was your ordinary Enchantress. I've been through worse, a LOT WORSE. Let me tell you, even been to the swamps and realize you forgot your hp potions? That's tough.
"My @#%^ing god, you are never going to get @#%^ like this. Holy sh*t, what is wrong with you... this is sum dungeon and dragons sh*t right here!" the third one cries out. He looks like a Ninja Turtle with his face structure and bandanna.
The short one, with the sharkish grin, gets very close to me. He seems interested in my Necromancers Elvan Helmet.
"Why do you have a d i c k on your head?"
This was it, now was my chance.
The plan? Hit them hard and fast. After a furray of swipes, end it with icestorm and firestorm for a quick combo. Alterra help me if it isn't, if they survive my combo, I could be in serious trouble. But no matter now, it was do or die.
"Why- do- you- have- a @#%^in'- d i c k- on- yur- he" he starts to say slow with a mocking tone as people laugh, but sorry you bastard, I shove the end of my Dreamers Icebolt Staff into his face. He clucks back, stunned.
"What the @#%^?!" one of his friends shouts. I'll show you what the @#%^, I'll show you all what the @#%^. I do it again, this time I hit his ribs. This time, it hardly harms him, and he grabs my end.
It's getting hot. Damn it all, this squirrel fur is making me itchy at the most terrible of times.
He is able to whip out the staff from within my hands and things are looking bad. His friends don't even join him. Overconfidence will be your downfall, @#%^.
He punches me in the face, and it feels like nothing I would expect it to. He's fast and I fall. He kicks me, but I'm able to get up. The staff, it's close, I can make it if I run. Its like the sun is on his side, as the jello mix that bless my armor begins to drips with and mix my sweat. Slowly, I'm becoming greener and greener.
Just before I am able to reach for my Dreamers Icebolt staff, I'm tripped. This man knows kickboxing I believe. He looks bored, as he thinks he has beaten me. He walks away, but I get up and grab my staff. Charging with furious might I go after him, ready to butt him on the back of the head. One of his friends are well aware of my tactics. He grabs me and punches me in the chest. Critical Hit. And then he breaks my Dreamer Icebolt staff. What a douchebag.
I drop and I think I might have been crying a bit at this point, but I didn't feel like it. I still had the upper-hand, they didn't know.
"Yo, stay the @#%^ down, its done" he looks like he is beginning pity me. NO ONE PITIES BODHII.
I take off my bookbag and I put it down. They all turn, a bit worried for what I may pull out. A gun? Ha-ha, no, you stupid @#%^s, I am not a Archer.
I pull out three pieces of wood, so finely crafted it would make the whole of Alterra cry. On one piece is a strip of Plaid, made from an old T-Shirt and painted with red ink and gold glitter. I attach the three pieces and my wand is complete. Weeks of work and their fates are sealed: I have brought my Mambozas Voodoo Fire Pin into the equation.
"Do you not know your folly? Do you not know your danger?" I said, in my voice is the deep empathy for what they are about to experience. No man should.
"Wow this fat sh*t has straight up lost it" one of them says.
"Hahaha!" I laugh.
"Um, wow" someone in crowd behind me says. This crowd is now rather large. They are amazed. They are amazed by the great Bodhii. And they should be.
"Do you not know who I AM? I am Bodhii! You are nothing but mischief makers" I shout to them, this was their final warning. I get a little closer.
"I've seen the horrors of the Dark Forrest and survived. I've fought in the swamps... SIDE BY SIDE with the great Alterra heros as we deflect the forces of the Croc Horde! I've succeed where others have failed, and defeated the challenges laid before me, the shameful, the hateful Frogmar!"
"I AM A HERO. YOUR @#%^ MIGHT DOES NOTHING TO ME! I HAVE SOLOED FFRRROOOGGMMARR!"
It was at this point I lost consciousness. Apparently, I was punched in the face again, but it all seems like a blur now. I woke up several hours later on a park bench. On my chest laid my wand, broken... they've soiled a treasure, those fools.
I walk to my Bike and I ride home. Maybe the update is here. Stupid @#%^s.
This is a adapted version of the story written by Devilionos I found on my pc from my old ffxi days thought u could do with a laugh wial waiting for 1.2 so adapted it best I could to fit with pl.
Originally Posted by MYBOWJERKS
Bookmarks