Before I begin, this is written from Caras, but the red font is Dos, played as his brother. It's him yelling in the background as if this was a video online dating profile.
Name: Kahlua
Guild: Sparkling Pwnies
Boss: Caras
Age: 21 (
(YA MAYBE 10 YEARS AGO YOU WERE) Be quiet, Dos! Ok fine I'm thir....27.
Occupation: I'm a Nuclear Scientist with a knack for controlling explosions! (
(YA MIGHT WANT TO WORK ON THAT IN THE BATHROOM NOW!) WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE. Sorry, so yes I work with reactors and maintaining their stability. Wouldn't want a meltdown now, would we!!
(MIGHT WANT LEAVE OUT WHAT YOU DID AT CHERNOBYL THEN!) Enough out of you!!! It's a hard job with long tedious hours, but someone's got to pay the bills.
Hobbies: Life isn't all fun and games working for an evil cult set on world domination
(YOU'RE ONLY THE JANITOR!!)....ANYWAYS as I was saying, I enjoy literature, fine dining, and catering to a woman's needs. I like weight lifting; staying in shape is priority number 1 for this muscle man. I also volunteer down at the local soup kitchen. Nothing makes me feel warm inside like helping others.
(NO IT'S PROBABLY FROM ALL THAT SOUP YOU EAT). That noise? Oh that was nothing. Just my brother, Dos. His name isn't even Dos...it's Kevin. He thought Dos was more edgy (
(BETTER THAN YOU'RE NAME, BART! OH I MEAN, CARAS, MY MISTAKE!!! Just ignore him and he'll go away. SO, my other hobbies include space fishing (you'll have to see it to believe it), crashing my father's spaceships, spending my father's money (would love to spend that money on you, ladies), and
(THIS IS BORING WHEN'S MY TURN?)....and BEING AWAY FROM MY BROTHER.
Dream Date: Picture this; romantic candlelit dinner, just myself and a woman, with beautiful violin and piano music played by the best orchestra money can buy. We'll share stories of our past, present, and future, and our eyes will meet with an explosion of silent passion. Dinner will be followed with a stroll down a boardwalk, overlooking the nebulas and alien planets of our solar system, listening to the artificial wave simulator, enjoying each other's company
(SAP-CITY HOLY COW ARE YOU SERIOUS WITH THIS?? BEER AND WINGS! BEER. AND. WINGS! YOU SOUND LIKE YOU JUST READ 'HOW TO BE A TOTAL DATE DWEEB') YOU SOUND LIKE AN IMMATURE BOY WHO NEVER WENT TO COLLEGE!
(...your mom goes to college) MY MOM IS YOUR MOM. WE'RE BROTHERS. TWIN. BROTHERS. Ok yeah...so that's my profile...if you're interested, please contact me at
SpaceStudCaras@starmail.com (SPACESTUD!?!? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! MOM! MOM!!! BART'S EMAIL IS SPACESTUD LOLOLOL).......*sigh*
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