Man Rule of the Week

[Bronxman2012]

Hello all! Bronxman here!

As you know, the day of the metrosexual is over (thank God). Unfortunately, many guys are now asking what to do, and, more importantly, NOT to do, as men.

And so, each and every week, I will talk about an area I call "men rules." By applying these rules, you will be well on your way to becoming a man.

Man Rule of the Week

MEN SHOWER

After you reach puberty or are 13 (whichever comes first), as a man, you should not be taking baths. You should be taking showers. The only exception to this rule is if you are with a woman (though you should not be having sex until you are married).

The bottom line is that men do not bathe, they bathe.

And if you are a man, and are taking a bath, and especially if you are taking a bubble bath, you are not a man. To correct this, simply take showers. Not only are showers more manly than baths, but statistics show that showers help the growth process of your Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. Don't believe me? Think about all the times you suffer from shrinkage. It always involves being surrounded by a large body of water.

So this week's man rule is MEN SHOWER.

Tune in next week when we discuss what men should NOT do at the urinals.

[Ardon]

I've never bathed once in my life lol

Also, the men's bathroom rules are a MUST lol especially the urinal one

[StompArtist]

If I may suggest a future topic: Men should not ask "do these pants make my bum look big?" to male friends. Ty.

[Bronxman2012]

Here is the rule of thumb. Men should never ask other men how they look. On the other hand, if you are a man, you should be proactive in telling your crew that they look good. Nothing major, but a simple Swag On will do. On the other hand, if a guy uses the code to tell you that your pants are lame, change them. Wearing them is not only bad socially, but a violation of the code, and cN result in you being removed from the circle of trust.

P.S. If you are asking if anything makes you look fat, you are not a man.

[Matutd]

Men should not make sammiches?

[MimeRifle]

I won't ask if if my butt looks big in these pants, 'cuz I have no butt - I just laughed it off reading the OP! ("Twilight Zone Tower of Terror"! BWAHAHA!!) Bronxman - I just love your schtick!!

Question, though, for clarity, if I may. Let's say a fella's crib is not equipped with a proper shower, just a bathtub. Is there some type of waiver process? Clemency? Safe-Harbor (or Safe-Tub as it were)? If so, what legislative body would be responsible to issue such judgements? Is there some sort of global man-law council?? Would said fella be bound by manhood to hook up one of those cheesy rubber hand-held faux shower thingies??

(OMG, I had *no* idea shrinkage had permanent effects!! I'm never swimming again!!)

[StompArtist]

I won't ask if if my butt looks big in these pants, 'cuz I have no butt - I just laughed it off reading the OP! ("Twilight Zone Tower of Terror"! BWAHAHA!!) Bronxman - I just love your schtick!!

Question, though, for clarity, if I may. Let's say a fella's crib is not equipped with a proper shower, just a bathtub. Is there some type of waiver process? Clemency? Safe-Harbor (or Safe-Tub as it were)? If so, what legislative body would be responsible to issue such judgements? Is there some sort of global man-law council?? Would said fella be bound by manhood to hook up one of those cheesy rubber hand-held faux shower thingies??

(OMG, I had *no* idea shrinkage had permanent effects!! I'm never swimming again!!)

If you rent an apartment with no shower you are not a man. A man knows better than to rent a place obviously built for women. If your own house has no shower you are not a man: a man installs his own shower ASAP.

[MimeRifle]

If you rent an apartment with no shower you are not a man. A man knows better than to rent a place obviously built for women. If your own house has no shower you are not a man: a man installs his own shower ASAP.

I expected that answer and had a follow-up question already prepared. (I'm on to you!! ha!!) Let's say the fella is just *visiting* a place without a shower... is there perhaps a certain number of days the guy could bathe without being stripped of man status - or would he have to travel with the cheesy rubber hand-held faux shower thingie? HMMMM???

[StompArtist]

I expected that answer and had a follow-up question already prepared. (I'm on to you!! ha!!) Let's say the fella is just *visiting* a place without a shower... is there perhaps a certain number of days the guy could bathe without being stripped of man status - or would he have to travel with the cheesy rubber hand-held faux shower thingie? HMMMM???

Said man will have to use a bucket or a sink. The man rules are still in effect.

[MimeRifle]

Said man will have to use a bucket or a sink. The man rules are still in effect.

I do thank you for the clarification! (but I' still overdrawn at the the thank-bank, so I can't "thank" the thank fairy atm)

In lieu of a "thanks", please enjoy this banana dance, and do remember - sometimes, a Twilight Zone Tower of Terror is just a Twilight Zone Tower of Terror...

[StompArtist]

I do thank you for the clarification! (but I' still overdrawn at the the thank-bank, so I can't "thank" the thank fairy atm)

In lieu of a "thanks", please enjoy this banana dance, and do remember - sometimes, a Twilight Zone Tower of Terror is just a Twilight Zone Tower of Terror...

I am sure the OP would frown upon exchange of banana related emoticons between men.

[Snakespeare]

These guys disagree, and they challenge you manly guys to join them! LOL! oh LOL!

[MimeRifle]

I am sure the OP would frown upon exchange of banana related emoticons between men.

I have to get an updated handbook... so, exchange of cigars between men is fine, but not bananas? What's next? Do I need to avoid the "wink" emote too? If I have to wait a week between each Man Rule, I'm really at risk. If I suddenly go missing, it's because I was so terrified I have confined myself to the shower!

[MimeRifle]

These guys disagree, and they challenge you manly guys to join them! LOL! oh LOL!

There's men in that picture??

[StompArtist]

I have to get an updated handbook... so, exchange of cigars between men is fine, but not bananas? What's next? Do I need to avoid the "wink" emote too? If I have to wait a week between each Man Rule, I'm really at risk. If I suddenly go missing, it's because I was so terrified I have confined myself to the shower!

Men are never terrified. Get with the program. LMAO!

[Artentreri]

But men love squirrels, especially mage squirrels who revive their friends.

[JaytB]

Real men bleed at least once a month

[Jugernugett]

Men should not make sammiches?

WTF! IM LIKE 13 AND I WANNA EAT MY SANDWICHES!! GOTTA EAT YA KNOW.. Anyone can have a sandwich. Also I've been taking showers since I was like 5...

[Ardon]

Real men bleed at least once a month

Sounds like a woman to me. The once a month part lol

Reworded: A man must get at least one new scar a month.

[JaytB]

Sounds like a woman to me. The once a month part lol

Reworded: A man must get at least one new scar a month.

That was the intention