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Thread: Pocket Legends FanFiction: Alterra's Diamonds

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    Member Zeimer's Avatar
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    Default Pocket Legends FanFiction: Alterra's Diamonds

    Author's Note: Ciaossu, PL players! I'm here to give ya a fanfiction of Pocket Legends! I hope you enjoy!

    Chapter 1: Alterra's Memories

    In a really far place, beyond our world, exist a peaceful world called Alterra, where animals wielding swords aren't a strange thing. This place has gone through it's peaceful time for a long time under the lead of Elf Queen, the beautiful elf that rules over the land of Alterra. With her as the queen, Alterra become the greatest kingdom where people always dreamed to go there. Alterra is a heaven, they though.

    One day, The Sorcerer Silknight, one of Elf Queen's most trusted wizard, betrayed Alterra for an unknowkn reason. She gathers betrayers and call themself as "Dark Alterra", or DA for short. They attacked the unprepared Alterra Kingdom, and successfully captured the Elf Queen. Some civillians and wounded loyal soldiers of Alterra retreated and make a rebel alliance called "Alterra's Diamond", or AD for short.

    Before Elf Queen got captured, she gave her child, her daughter, to her loyales and trusted guardian, Bard.

    Elf Queen: "Bard, please take my child. Raise her so that she can replaced me someday." *giving her child to Bard*
    Bard: *taking Elf Queen's child* "But, but My Queen! I-"
    *bam!*
    DA Soldier: "Elf Queen! Ah, only with Bard? This will be a piece o' cake!"
    Elf Queen: "Bard! Please go. Protect my daughter. I'm begging you. Please."
    Bard: "But..." *silent* "Yes, My Highness!" *run*
    DA Soldier: "Hey you! Wait-" *got stopped by Elf Queen*
    Elf Queen: "Didn't I am the one you're looking for?"
    DA Soldier: "Humph! Soldiers, get her!"
    Other DA Soldiers: "Yessir!"
    Elf Queen: "I'm counting on you, Bard"

    -The Secret Tunnel-
    Bard: "Elf Queen... I'll protect your daughter... I will! I will treat her like my own daughter, and I will train her so that she will be a great queen that can replace you someday!"
    Elf Queen's baby: *chuckle*
    Bard: "What a cute baby you are..." *smiling* "Resha... Seems like a fitting name..."
    Resha: *smiling*
    Bard: "My daughter.... Resha..."

    -At the same time on AD Camp-
    Civilian 1: "Uaaaah!"
    Civillian 2: "One more time! One more time!"
    Civilians: "UAAAAH!"
    Baby: "Uaaah!"
    Civillian 2: "Here it is. It's a boy." *giving the baby*
    Civillian 1: "My baby..." *passed out*
    Civillian 2: "Ma'am? Ma'am?! Oh my god, Sir! Sir! Your wife!"
    Civillian 3: "W-what is it?!" *coming in*
    Civillian 2: "Your wife... Your wife is...."
    Civillian 3: "No..." *falling to his knees* "Nooo! Noooo!" *crying out loud*
    Civillian 2: *looking at the chuckling baby bird* "Sir.... It's your kid...." *giving the baby*
    Civilian 3: *snifle* *taking the baby* "My baby..." *walking to his wife* "Honey... This is our child.... He's so... Handsome...."
    Baby: *chuckle*
    Civillian 3: "hey there, kiddo! I'm Lend, your father! And this is Sara, your mother!" *starring at the kid* *tears come out from his eyes* "My son.... Zeimer...."

    To be continued...

    Author's Note: so, that's it! Give me your suggestion, please! My English are bad, so I really need your suggestion! Thank you!

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Battlegrinder's Avatar
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    Default

    Cool idea. The format reads more like a screenplay or set of stage notes than a story though. If you do plan to continue writing this, I'd recommend posting it on a site like figment or fanfiction.net (I'd advise figment, FF.net has a rather annoying update system). If you want any other advice, feel free to PM me. I've been writing a novelization of Star Legends over the past few months, and have learned a lot about the writing process in doing so. Best of luck in writing your story!

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    Member Zeimer's Avatar
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    Thanks! You know, I'm a newbie author there as well. I've made a story, but I deleted it because of the very lack plot. But really, thank you! I'll continue it on the FF!

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    Great job Zeimer! I love reading & writing and I'm glad to see there is a good fan-writing base here . I agree with what BattleGrinder said, it seems more like a screen-play than story. So what you need to work on it integrating your screen-play into a story! .

    The Secret Tunnel-
    Bard: "Elf Queen... I'll protect your daughter... I will! I will treat her like my own daughter, and I will train her so that she will be a great queen that can replace you someday!"
    Elf Queen's baby: *chuckle*

    Deep in the abyss of a secret tunnel a lonely Bard humbly whispered a solemn oath. "Elf Queen, I will protect your daughter... I will! I will treat her like my own daughter, and I will train her so that she will be a great queen that can replace you someday!" A small chuckle emerged from the child of the Elf Queen.

    You've got the core, all you need to do it fancy it up!


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    Visit my Graphics Workshop!

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    Member Zeimer's Avatar
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    Thank you! Really! And hey, go to the game, will ya? I'll be there.

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    Member Arexos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zeimer View Post
    Thank you! Really! And hey, go to the game, will ya? I'll be there.
    Yeah I will, sorry I've got exams in a week's time so I've just been scooping around the Forums and studying, i'll try to jump on soon.


    What is a game but a reality within a reality, to escape from reality.
    Visit my Graphics Workshop!

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    Member RushalotPL's Avatar
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    Yo, I'm gonna make a story that's similar to yours, but way better.

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