Man Rule of the Week: January 23-27
Hello all! Bronxman here!
As you know, the day of the metrosexual is over (thank God). Unfortunately, many guys are now asking what to do, and, more importantly, NOT to do, as men.
And so, each and every week, I will talk about an area I call "men rules." By applying these rules, you will be well on your way to becoming a man.
Man Rule of the Week: HOW TO USE THE URINAL
When you have to use the urinal, here are five things you should and should not do.
Rule #1
NEVER use a urinal right next to another man. There should always be a "one-urinal" buffer zone between you and another guy. The one exception to this is if you REALLY have to go, but the only urinal available is one sandwiched between two guys. However, remember that men do not spend a lot of time at a urinal (60 seconds is usually the maximum amount of time), so if you can hold it until a buffer zone appears, do so.
Note: You should also use the buffer zone at the movie theatre.
Rule #2
When you are at the urinal, look STRAIGHT AHEAD. Don't look to the right or the left. Even if it is not your intention, by having your eyes stray, it can appear as if you are looking at another man's junk. Definitely not cool.
Rule #3
When you are at the urinal, NO TALKING. No conversation is acceptable. I don't care if it is your best buddy. Guys should not talk to other guys while they are peeing. However, when you are washing your hands, that is the perfect time to have a conversation. Nothing is THAT important that it cannot wait. So, remember the golden rule (no pun intended), at the urinal, SILENCE IS REQUIRED.
Rule #4
When you are done with your business, a "shake" is acceptable, and even a "double-shake" is permissible. Heck, for those "beer-busting" times, even a "triple-shake" will do. However, that is your limit. I'm going to keep this clean, but anything more than a "triple-shake" appears as if you are using the urinal for a sick, twisted purpose. So, remember, like baseball, "three strikes, and you're out."
Rule #5
When you are done with your business, zip up your fly BEFORE leaving the urinal. If you have been doing this for a few years, you should be able to do this without looking down. However, if you have to look, that is OK. On the other hand, walking away from the urinal with your fly undone is a violation of man rules.
So for this week, you have five rules for HOW TO USE THE URINAL.
Tune in next week when we discuss types of soaps men should NEVER use.
Bronxman
Originally Posted by StompArtist
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