The second contest!!

**Vigilante** · 10-09-2015, 04:22 PM

Same concept guys from the previous contest I recently did, if you dont know then here:

Originally Posted by Vigilante

Whoever makes the funniest sentence wins a mill, pretty legit. Basically I will be reading and scrolling your immature, stupidness, etc that makes me laugh and the one that pretty much cracks me up wins! The sentence could be either a sentence or essay if you please or whatever, but it has to be funny and amusing. Also you could do a meme if you want for those who can not write/ struggling. Please do not plagiarize stuff from the internet, I will know if you do! Do not underestimate this vigilante or else you wont win your mill you've been dreaming about on your wet bed! Furthermore, the date line will be maybe next week? Nahhh lets make it October 9, 2015. Let the funny people begin with their thingy! Good luck my wet kids

Ign: Joecarrol

First place: a mill ( 1.5mill now)
Second place: Too bad ( Maybe )
Third place: Sorry dood
Fourth place: Who just gives out a fourth place? wtf

For second place they would most likely get a mill

Dateline is Oct 25

Contest is officially done, winner is assault, please pm me in private message

**Groaning** · 10-09-2015, 06:42 PM

im a unicorn :3 meow

**Iilhopeliliil** · 10-09-2015, 08:28 PM

My entry:
The entries of the winners of the previous contest are funny

**Vigilante** · 10-10-2015, 11:20 AM

And yes for those who won can still participate in this, if they want to

**fruitbattwo** · 10-10-2015, 11:36 AM

When is the final day...

**Vigilante** · 10-10-2015, 12:22 PM

The final day would be oct 25

**lelandbroome04** · 10-10-2015, 01:24 PM

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the man passes gas and says, "seven points!".

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied "it's fart football."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown! Tie score..."

After about five minutes the old man lets another one goes and says, "Aha, I'm ahead 14 to 7"

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on for the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, "What the hell was that?"

The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

Sent from my SPH-L720T using Tapatalk

**imnins** · 10-10-2015, 11:31 PM

My entry: I tried to commit suicide but I back out because it almost killed me.

**AppleNoob** · 10-11-2015, 08:18 AM

Originally Posted by imnins

My entry: I tried to commit suicide but I back out because it almost killed me.

Not even funny.

**imnins** · 10-12-2015, 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by AppleNoob

Not even funny.

i know cuz it almost killed me :c

**iRandom** · 10-12-2015, 08:49 AM

Originally Posted by Groaning

im a unicorn :3 meow

I can confirm this.

**Vigilante** · 10-12-2015, 06:13 PM

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**Assault** · 10-12-2015, 08:01 PM

Once apon a time, walking down the street their was 4 kids. The frist kids name was "Shuddap" the second "fvckin" the third "shlt" and the last kid was named "manners". Since the one kid "shlt" was overly obsessed with anything black he ran out onto the road to kiss the ground. He ended up kissing a big black truck. So now that "shlt" was grounded "fvckin" ran over to try help him up. "Shuddap" being the smartest of the four friends called the police, while manners watched dumbfounded.
"What's ur emergency sir" replied the police operator.
"My friend just got ran over by a car" replied "Shuddap"
"What's ur name sir? We got officers 10 minutes out" said the operator.
"Shuddap" replied shuddap
"Excuse me" said the operator
"Shuddap" replied shuddap
"Where your manners sir"! Replied the operator
"He is watching, while "fvckin" my other friend, who is trying to pick up "shlt", who is right in the middle of the road"
-ign vume

**Vigilante** · 10-12-2015, 09:27 PM

Originally Posted by Assault

Once apon a time, walking down the street their was 4 kids. The frist kids name was "Shuddap" the second "fvckin" the third "shlt" and the last kid was named "manners". Since the one kid "shlt" was overly obsessed with anything black he ran out onto the road to kiss the ground. He ended up kissing a big black truck. So now that "shlt" was grounded "fvckin" ran over to try help him up. "Shuddap" being the smartest of the four friends called the police, while manners watched dumbfounded.
"What's ur emergency sir" replied the police operator.
"My friend just got ran over by a car" replied "Shuddap"
"What's ur name sir? We got officers 10 minutes out" said the operator.
"Shuddap" replied shuddap
"Excuse me" said the operator
"Shuddap" replied shuddap
"Where your manners sir"! Replied the operator
"He is watching, while "fvckin" my other friend, who is trying to pick up "shlt", who is right in the middle of the road"
-ign vume

Man I'm pretty sure you'll get the 1.5mill

**iRandom** · 10-12-2015, 09:39 PM

Originally Posted by Vigilante

Man I'm pretty sure you'll get the 1.5mill

I can't confirm this.

ign:Potatology

**Assault** · 10-12-2015, 11:57 PM

I have another funny story, can I win both 2nd and first lol

**lelandbroome04** · 10-13-2015, 12:21 AM

Oooooh I got one!!! I'm gonna win this contest as well hopefully!

One day, a father and his daughter are together. The father is putting the daughter to sleep. After the father leaves, he hears her saying her prayers. He hears her say, '' God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa. The father hears all of this and barges back into the room. He asks her, '' Why did you say the last part? '' The daughter replies, '' Because I needed to. '' The next day, grandpa dies. The father thinks, '' Is this just a coincidence?
That night he tucks her daughter into bed. He leaves the room to only hear her prayers again. He hears, '' Bless mommy and daddy, rest in peace grandma. '' The father now is thinking, '' Holy ****, my daughter can see into the future? '' The next day, grandma dies. A week later nothing happens, but the night before Sunday, he is tucking his daughter into bed once more. He leaves and listens for any more prayers. Sure enough, there is another prayer. He hears, '' Bless you mommy, rest in peace daddy. '' The father starts panicking and saying, '' Holy ****! I'm going to die tomorrow! '' The following start of the next day consisted the father being alert all the time, checking the clock, looking around the room, etc. He goes to work to do the same things, being alert, all of that. He looks at the clock again 3 hours later. It's past midnight. The father says, '' How is this possible? I should be dead! '' He goes home and finds his wife on the couch with a scared look on her face. She asks, '' What took you so long!? '' The father says, '' Listen honey, today I haven't had the best of days. '' Then as soon as he is about to tell what happened, she bursts out, '' I saw the mailman die yesterday! ''

Woo. My fingers are tired from all that punctuation mostly...

IGN: Littlemangoby

**lelandbroome04** · 10-13-2015, 12:29 AM

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I�m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

IGN: Littlemangoby

**lelandbroome04** · 10-13-2015, 12:41 AM

Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says �Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He�s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It�s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-f***ing-believable!"

IGN: Littlemangoby

**iRandom** · 10-13-2015, 09:29 AM

Woah.

After seeing all this I decided to write a book.... Ten Reasons Why Groaning Should Win

So I'm going to skip all the parts that make a book good like plot, rising action, suspense, and wit.

10. Groaning rhymes with moaning. At first I thought that moaning was like bat and only had 50 words of compatible rhyming. Then Groaning showed me the path to light. I realized that groaning was like orange and had 100 too many words that rhymed with it! Groaning just enlightens people like *that*!

9. She embraces death. Very few times do you not not not not not not not not get the chance to kill Groaning. Just go with the flow and become pro like Groaning! You know what they say, "If you can't beat them join em." (GL Groaning Stepy and I dont play PL anymore)

8. After you know Groaning for a while you realize one important thing. That she is actually... a he. Shocking Right? I know I was too.

7. I seriously couldn't believe that groaning was a he. No seriously. (Actually no not seriously)

6. Groaning aces Rorschach tests.... in his sleep. I mean I don't know this for sure but who said books have to be factual.

End Part 1